Rate my kitten

So you want to see Screech? Take a peek here and rate him high. He's such a cutie.

Morning Thoughts

[Listening to: Bellavia - Chuck Mangione - Greatest Hits (06:30)]

Screech woke me up at 4:30 am to eat today. He's cute but he can be so demanding. Has anyone been watching the Repugnantcan National Convention? I have no desire to see people further praise GWB. It just turns my stomach to no end. Andymatic posted a quote from Garrison Keillor about the ineptitude of the Bush administration. Clearer, more precise words have never been spoken. I've always admired the man, and am glad to see that he is thinking as clearly as we all should be about this subject. However, I have to take issue with the protesters in NYC. Not all of them, mind you. Just these nasty scudzy types that make us all look like nasty, scudzy types. The types that protest everything for the sake of protesting. Maybe I'm being elitist here, but why can't protesters shower? Or at least wash their hair? The fact that they look like street urchins makes it hard to take them seriously, which, in turn, makes it hard to take those of us seriously who actually do share their viewpoints, but just don't have the cojones to actually protest about it. So am I protesting the protesters, or am I protesting the lack of protesting by the people who actually do represent me? Or am I just rambling on at 5:00 in the morning, wishing I was still asleep? Yeah. I am going to sleep for a couple more hours. More later. Maybe.

I think I'm in love.

I have a confession. I think I'm in love. The first time I saw this person, I was overcome. The beauty that was in front of me was stunning. I couldn't control myself. I was reduced to putty. The first time I held this person, I cried. Honestly. I don't know what came over me. The feeling of love I had was overwhelming. It was like nothing I had felt before. My new love has never spoken a word to me. There is no need. Yet I have sung songs to her in return. I will shower her with affection and gifts, and expect nothing in return. She deserves it. The bond between us is quite deep. And I've only known her for two months. Yes, this person is a girl. But she's not just any girl. She's the most beautiful girl in the world. My new love's name is Taylor Madeline. She was born on June 27, 2004. She is my baby cousin. She was christened today. And I am madly in love with her. Do you blame me? Taylor Madeline, my baby Cousin. The day I met Taylor, July 4, 2004.

Injustice Served?

Headline today: "Paul Hamm Asked to Give Up Gold Medal" "...World gymnastics officials asked Paul Hamm to give up his gold medal as the ultimate show of sportsmanship, but the U.S. Olympic Committee told them to take responsibility for their own mistakes and refused even to deliver the request. In a dispute over scores that has turned into a political squabble, the head of the International Gymnastics Federation suggested in a letter to Hamm that giving the all-around gold medal to South Korea's Yang Tae-young "would be recognized as the ultimate demonstration of fair play by the whole world..." Oh Puhleeze. I am so sick and tired of everyone trying to change the rules to get their own way. We live in a world of whiners. We whine if we don't get our way. Then when we do get our way, we whine because it wasn't good enough. Then we whine because someone else got a better deal than we got. Then when we get the better deal, we whine because we're still not happy. Nothing is set in stone anymore. You can contest anything these days. There is always room for an appeal. A chance to knock someone of their pedestal so we can stand on it for a while. I think it's disgusting. If you're playing football, and you score a touchdown, it can be reversed because of the video replay rule. If you're injured in an accident, and the jury ruled in your favor, the other guy can appeal that ruling and you could even get blamed for it. If you're running for president and the elections aren't going in your favor, you can contest them and recount them until they hand it to you anyway. It's getting so that there is no justice in this world at all. I'm all for being fair. But there needs to be a boundary where we say, "What's fair is fair. What's excessive is not. Know the difference." Paul Hamm won the gold medal. A mistake in judging should not even be considered. The judgments were made. The scores were recorded. The medals were awarded. There should be no turning back. Ever. If we change the rules so that judging can be re-judged, then what is the point of having judging at all?

I'm a Sex Bomb!

I just took this quiz (thanks to Hot Toddy for the link). It appears that I am a SEX BOMB. Appointments may be made by contacting my answering service. ------------------------------------ eXpressive: 6/10 Practical: 5/10 Physical: 6/10 Giver: 8/10 You are a XSYG--Expressive Sentimental Physical Giver. This makes you a Sex Bomb. You are sexy sex sex sex! The sexness! You are the sexiest, hottest and most charismatic of all types. You are a captivating speaker and a great dinner date -- relaxed, self-effacing, charming and generous. Your type probably has origins in something sad -- trying to keep the peace in a tough family situation, or an early heartbreak -- and you'll probably want to address and resolve that at some point, but in your relationships that heartache is pure gold! You lie effortlessly -- not necessarily a bad thing. You can have problems with fidelity. You need frequent praise and validation, and in seeking it you can make decisions that aren't consistent with your general good judgment. In other words, don't cheat on your significant other just because someone is paying attention to you. You strongly dislike conflict, and will avoid it. Like an XPYG, you give so much of yourself to your partner that you feel dismissed and unappreciated if you don't get the same in return. But you internalize your feelings more and have a hard time getting over them. You don't *want* to cheat -- you just keep finding yourself in vulnerable situations. But you'll stay with your partner in the long run from guilt and a desire to please. Your sex life will always be hot. You are one of the rare people who can keep the fires of passion going forever -- if you find a good match. Find another XSYG and you will never need (or want) anyone else again. Of the 8066 people who have taken this quiz, 10.4 % are this type. People-pleaser View Relationship Key ------------------------------------ Do I agree with this? In some ways, maybe. In other ways, no. But it is nice to know I'm not a stick in the mud or anything. These things are silly anyway.

Pictures Pictures Pictures!

OK... I promised pictures, so here they are. Enjoy! Saugatuck Pics Jeremy, the Saugatuck Fairy Ferry Everywhere we looked, we were surrounded by the peaceful wilderness Arnie and me along the Saugatuck Boardwalk Millennium Park Millennium Park is one amazing sight to behold. The thing cost $475 MILLION to build. It was worth it. I took my camera down there a few nights ago, and here are some of the pictures from that excursion. Jay Pritzker Pavillion, by artist Frank Gehry, is absolutely spectacular. I can't wait to see a concert here. Not only is the stage amazing, but the adjoining lawn is breathtaking. The crisscrossed wires above the lawn hold lights and speakers, which are timed to delay the sound so that you feel like you are actually hearing the music live. It's truly a beautiful addition to Chicago. The Millennium Monument in Wrigley Square is a Peristyle that was built to exactly replicate a simliar peristyle that stood in this location for 50 years, from the 1910's to the 1950's. They had to tear it down because the original was built of concrete and couldn't withstand the Chicago weather any longer. This peristyle is built of limestone and should last for many generations to come. Crown Fountain is easily the most unusual and interesting things I've seen in a long time, and this park is full of unusual and interesting things. Each wall is constructed of glass blocks. Projected against these blocks are images of Chicagoans. They filmed over 1000 people, from what I am to understand. They stare blankly, blink, smile, and just sit there for about 10 minutes. Then they pucker their lips, and out of their mouths shoot a stream of water into the center of the fountain area. Then the face disappears, the tower goes dark, and a wash of water cascades down the sides, all so that another face can appear in its place... and the cycle continues. Cloud Gate, by Anish Kapoor, is definitely the most popular attraction in Millennium Park. Its brightly polished surface reflects everything around it. It's eye-catching, incredibly curious to look at, and, quite frankly, beautiful. Its nickname is, of course, "The Bean" because of its shape. Whatever it is called, it is a fun sight to see.

Hazardous Waste Vol. IV

Believe it or not, the saga continues in the "Poop Juice" saga. Click the headline for the... um... scoop. (You may have to register on Chicago Tribune's website.) In case you missed it, here is the original story... ..and follow-up #1 ..and follow-up #2 Sorry if you are a Dave Matthews fan... hee hee... Thanks to Big Mickey Style for cluing me in on the update to the story!

Thinking

[Listening to: Rhapsody in Blue - George Gershwin - (17:23)]

I do a lot of thinking. Thoughts enter my head in patterns that would surprise some. My train of thought has a lot of cars, and the track winds around many odd curves and over lots of troubled waters. How's that for deep? Here are some thoughts that have been on my "train" lately. Blogging I've been a blogger for two months now. I still don't feel like I have found my "voice" yet. I don't know what the purpose of all of this is. Is it a place for me to vent my feelings? Where I can express my deepest thoughts and emotions? Is it a place where I post random stuff? Where I can share the silly moments of my life? Is it somewhere I can meet a boyfriend? Where I can truly, at last, be myself? I've met some incredible people through this medium already. The majority of them are listed in the sidebar to your right. Through their thoughts and expressions, I have learned things about myself that I didn't know existed. I have realized that many of my problems are shared by people all over this country. When I first came out, I had the typical reaction of "I am so alone." Throughout time, of course, I have come to realize that this is not true. However, at times I still feel alone. Maybe that's because I'm still single after three years. Maybe it's because I haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than one year. Maybe I am trying too hard, or focusing too much energy on what is WRONG with me, and not what is RIGHT. That's what blogging is helping me to realize. I am not the only person in this world who has problems.

[Listening to: All This Love - DeBarge - Ultimate Collection (05:51)]

I had some problems And noone could seem to solve them But you.. found the answer You told me to take this chance And learn the ways of love And all that it has to offer In time you will see that love won't let you down... Strangely enough, this song started playing as I was typing this out. Relationships As I mentioned before, I have had only one true relationship that lasted only a year. Dwelling on this gets really depressing, I gotta tell you. I try not to, but sometimes, I can't seem to help it. This relationship ended very suddenly. I thought everything was wonderful up until the day it collapsed. The gory details of what happened are for another post at another time. This one's already long enough. But suffice it to say, it took me a long time before I felt I was ready to sustain another relationship. Trouble is, I feel like I've lost so much time. I feel like there isn't anyone left for me out there. Growing up in Wisconsin, I thought that if I moved to the big city, guys would be pounding down my door. So I moved here. Ha. Not the case. So I tried to seek out that relationship experience. I found myself disappointed and frustrated. The old saying is true. "If you seek it out, you'll never find it." All of my friends from my early coming out years have been in relationships for the last 4-5 years. They have bought homes and settled down. I still feel like I'm 25 years old and not sure what lies ahead. I'm going to be 34 this year. I'm not getting any younger. Money I got a letter today from the IRS. It seems that I owe them $1500 from my taxes in 2001. I don't know what the hell happened. I don't know where I am going to come up with that money. Money has always been a problem in my life. From childhood to adulthood, I have never had good luck with money. I have a nice home, but I still rent. I drive a car. I have food on my table and my cats never go hungry. I pay my bills. But this just sucks. Just another thing to worry about. Family The whole ordeal with my parents and getting them ready to move out of their house has caused great stress lately. My father had a bad fall the other day while I was camping. He is having so much trouble walking it scares me. I hate seeing my parents get old. Friends After the weekend in Saugatuck, I have a newfound appreciation for the friends in my life. They mean so much to me. I am a lucky man. Rafael (The Vegetarian), Jeremy (The Makeout Boy) and Arnie (The Laugh)

A few things to share...

I'm just testing this new blog posting tool that was recommended by Shannon on Tribe. It works pretty nicely, and I think it's going to be something I use from now on. Thanks, Shannon!! Milennium Park's own "Cloud Gate" - A/K/A/ "The Bean" Last night I took a walk out to Chicago's fabulous new Milennium Park after work. It is just amazing. The amount of time and money that went into this creation was worth every second and every cent. I need to take a trip out there during the day so I can see it again in the sunlight. I am truly impressed.

[Listening to: Friends - Elton John - To Be Continued... Disc 1 (02:24)]

Nip/Tuck

Those dots were driving me nuts. I was going cross-eyed. :) How do you like it?

Beautiful Music II

A few days ago, I had posted about the National Anthems played at the Olympics. In the comments, Pua and Billy had some questions about other music in commercials, and I had mentioned the incredibly gorgeous Haagen-Dazs commercials. I did some research today and here are some answers to some of those questions: First, a great website that tracks music in commercials: http://www.songtitle.info/ It is on that website that I found this info for Pua about the Volkswagen Touareg commercial music: Commercial: Volkswagen Touareg “Picture” Artist: Richard Buckner Album: Since Song: Ariel Ramirez I also browsed to the Volkswagen website and found this, where I finally got to see the commercial in question. And on this website, I was compelled to find out about that beautiful music for the Haagen-Dazs commercials. And I found that all I had to do was go to Haagen-Dazs's website. They have links where you can download not only the commercials, but MP3 versions of the music. I also found this forum where someone had actually written Haagen-Dazs about the music and got a response explaining where it came from. And now you know!

My weekend in Suck-n-Fuck

I didn't want to come home. I had a really wonderful weekend in Saugatuck . (a/k/a Suck-n-Fuck, as it seems that's all that goes on around there anyway. And no, I didn't do either. Dammit.) I camped at the Campit gay campground. This year marked 10 years of visits to Campit. I can hardly believe I've been there that many times. I am getting old. So instead of giving the usual rundown of events as they occurred, I will compile a list of my favorite things that happened during the weekend... It will make for a shorter post, and will provide you with easier reading. I am always thinking of you. (The 3 or so of you that read me regularly. Thank you. I love you.) In no particular order: 1. My friends and their obsession with poo, labias and vaginas. Honestly, I love them all dearly, but everything was a joke that had a reference to one of these three bodily functions or female body parts. And I would honestly guess that none of them had the experience to speak about the female parts... they are just obscenely obsesssed. (Is that alliteration or some other english term? I'm still too tired to know or care. Anyway...) The greatest contributors to this obsession were The Vegitarian and The Makeout Boy. (I hope that they don't mind me using these names instead of their real names... I just can't think of anything else and besides, I don't think they read this anyway. Yet.) To give a character description, The Vegitarian is a vegitarian because of his love for animals. In fact he is crazed about animals. (When he sees a dog or a cat, he exclaims "FUR!")... but that's fine with me because I love them too. I just still eat them. (not dogs and cats of course... ew.) The Makeout Boy is a dear friend of mine but he seems to have a penchant for making out with people a lot... which is fine. It's all part of what we call Outercourse. It's safe, it has no major repercussions, and dammit, it's fun. 2. The wonderful people we met outside our group. During our first trip to the Douglas Dunes, we met two couples and one single man from LA. Aside from the boy from LA, they were all from Chicago. How fun! New people. Whee! One of the couples invited us to their cottage (which was the size of a large house in any other city) for dinner the next night, so we went and had an absolutely wonderful evening, roasting corn and grilling out. 3. The cute Polish boy I met. We had been making eye contact all night long the last night we were out at the Dunes, but he had this icky guy hanging all over him the whole time so I kept my distance. I think he wanted to be rescued. I finally did meet him through one of my camping buddies (I will call him The Laugh, because he has this distinctive laugh that enables you to find him in a crowd. Think the Aflac duck with a scratchy throat.) We talked for a long time and he gave me his phone number. I called and left a message the next day. I will keep you posted. 4. The pool at Douglas Dunes. Finally I got some color! I don't look like a sickly translucent shut-in anymore. Thank goodness for my Italian blood, because I do tan easily, when I do let myself tan. We spent both days at the pool and the sun was bright and hot... ideal tanning weather (not to mention, ideal boy-watching weather.) 5. The weather. I can't imagine a more perfect weekend for camping. It was absolutely gorgeous all weekend. No humidity, no bugs, no excessive heat. The only downer was the second night, which was ridiculously cold. But with a heavy sleeping bag and lots more blankets, it made it downright comfy in bed. Well.. a boy would have been nice, too.. but beggars can't be choosers I guess. 6. The people in your neighborhood. Everyone is just so nice at the campground and in Michigan in general. It's like a friendly wing of Chicago. And it's so close to home too-- only a couple hours drive. It's worth the trip (and very cheap too.) 7. The stars. If you live in a big city, you tend to forget about the multitude of stars that truly are visible from our fair planet. The heavens were just aglow with celestial twinkling. I have a sore neck from looking up. Really. That IS the reason. 8. The fact that it wasn't a holiday weekend. Most times I've gone to Saugatuck it was on a weekend relating to some holiday. (Labor Day, Memorial Day, July 4...) This time, it was just a random weekend, and I really had a much better time. Everything was less crowded, and it seemed more intimate. 9. I'm just putting this here so I can get my list to ten things. 10. The peaceful feeling I felt all weekend. I just needed a weekend where I could relax, have some peace and quiet, and enjoy myself. I got that. I came home refreshed and clear-minded. I can't wait for next year's trip. Check back, I'll add some pictures to this tonight. Now if only that cute Polish boy would call me back...

A lyrical trip down memory lane - Part 1

A long, long time ago, my friend Mark and I got into the lyrical parody business. Of course, the only customers were... us. Mark attended Marquette University in Milwaukee, WI. He was my best friend all through grade school and high school. I would come up to visit him and we would do crazy things like... write parody lyrics to some of our favorite songs. OK, so maybe it wasn't the greatest thing in the world, but you gotta admit, some of them were pretty funny. Classics that came to mind were "Perish" for "Cherish" (a ditty about S&M and Bondage), "La Isla Burrito" for "Bonita" (an homage to Mexican food), and, especially "Smoke," our take on "Vogue." Naturally, as you can tell, Madonna was our favorite subject. She was too easy (literally) to parody. The words just flowed through our fingertips. Here, then is the first installment of those lyrics. Should you enjoy them, I will post more. You just have to let me know. :) Smoke By far, this one is my favorite. It just worked SO well. The premise is a bit odd, of course... and it seems to sometimes switch off between being pro-smoking and anti-smoking.. but I think we did good with it. Enjoy. Strike a match Strike a match Smoke... Smoke Look around, everywhere you turn it's smoky It's everywhere that you go (Look around) You have tried the same old thing to break that habit A thousand times in a row (All in a row) All else has failed but you'd still rather be Smoking more than you did today I know a place where you can puff away It's called a dancefloor And here's what it's for So come on, smoke Ruin your lungs more to the music Hack, hack, hack Come on, smoke! Let your body flow in the cloud Way to be a chimney!! All you need are your cigarettes and lighter All for a buck ninety-four (Buck ninety-four) Puff inside, Don't forget your exhalation Or else you'll drop to the floor It makes no difference if they're Marlboro Lights Or a carton of Mores If the smoke is puffing, it'll make you feel right But, hey don't look now You're an awful sight You know it (Chorus) Glamour is exciting That is why you keep on lighting You think it's so wonderful Smoking makes you feel beautiful Magical, life's a ball, but Babe, you got it all wrong You smoke And let your lungs rot to the music Flick your Bic Have a stroke And let the tar fill up your lungs If you don't try to stop it Smoke Here is where you find it Rot to the music Smoke Here is where you find it Fill up your lungs Now 100's Marlboro They're both great, don't you know? Camel Lights Virginia Slims Very sleek, very trim. Kent, More, Lucky Strike In your car or on your bike Puff away, you don't care Marijuana, to dance on air! This is style? This is grace? Yellow teeth? Dirty face? Vantage Lights, a pack of True How can anyone kiss you? Ladies with an attitude Fellas that are in the mood Don't just stand there, Get down to it Strike a match, a child can do it. Smoke. Smoke. Puff to the music Oooh.. you've got to let your lungs puff to the music Oooh.. you've got to puff Let your lungs rot when you smoke Oooh... You've got to... Smoke.

How Camp-y

I'm going camping this weekend. In fact, I leave in just a few short minutes... after my Peapod order arrives. We're heading up to Saugatuck, MI for a weekend at CampIt, the area gay campground. I've been going there for close to 10 years now. Yes, a gay campground. Your imagination is probably 100% accurate. I'll come back with stories, pictures and other debaucherous tales. I hope. :) Have a great weekend, all!

Beautiful music

After hearing our National Anthem a few times during this Olympics, I had to find out who did the arrangement. I think it's probably the most beautiful arrangement of the National Anthem I've heard. It certainly is moving... especially during moments like this.

Just some stuff

I really admire him for speaking is own mind. For being his own man. For not being his father. I really want to read this book. I really don't want to see these while shopping for potatoes and paper towels. I really think she is a bit overexposed (even though I admire her greatly, and love her new hairdo!) I really am going to miss her. I really want him as my husband. Now.

Great balls of fire! Part II

(Click on the title for the link-- it works now!) Here's the Tribune article about the fire I witnessed last night on the way home from work. (See yesterday's post for my story).

Great balls of fire!

The day started typically. Woke up, fed the cats, shower, dress, grab my stuff and off to work. I'm not always so timely in the morning, so I end up driving to work a lot. However, I got a decent start this morning, so I took the El. Work was fine. No great emergencies. No huge jobs. Just another typical day at the grind. The commute home, though, was another story. To preface this, a few months ago, there was a major house fire along the tracks of the El that caused a bad disruption of service. The house was right along the Brown Line tracks (I take the Red Line) so they had to cut power to the tracks in order to protect the electrical systems and the tracks themselves. Plus, the fire was so close to the tracks that it wasn't safe to run any trains past the fire. The house stood in ruin from then until now. They never boarded it up, and never tore it down. Quite frankly, it was a bit creepy. You could also see that the fire had spread to the adjoining houses. I'm not sure if they were occupied anymore or not. It appeared to have done quite a bit of damage. So today, I'm listening to a CD, cranked up pretty loud, mainly to drown out the chattering kids behind me and just to lose myself in music and catch a little snooze before I got home. As we neared the Diversey Brown Line stop, the train suddenly slowed down, and the lights went out. This wasn't unusual. It happens every now and then, and then the power kicks back in and we keep going. No big deal. Until I saw everyone getting up and plastering themselves against the window. The burned-out house came into view. It was engulfed in flames. Again. I have never seen anything so spectacular. It was just immense. They were shooting out of the roof, the windows and doors. It looked like it was out of control. You could feel the heat. It was intense. The train kept slowing down. Apparently the power was cut, and the conductor certainly didn't want to hit the brakes, for fear that the train would stop right in front of the massive blaze. The train finally stopped about 500 feet or so from the fire. We were safe, but we were stranded. I was in the last car, so I could see everything. Within seconds of our passing the fire, the entire roof was engulfed. They were shooting up so high I couldn't believe it. I had to imagine that it was spreading to the houses next door by now. Judging from the fact that I wasn't hearing any sirens, it seemed to me that this had just happened. About 5-10 minutes later, the sirens started. They came in droves. And we were stuck, witnessing the entire event. Now mind you, at this point, people were more interested in the fire than anything else. Everyone tried to get a good look. Cell phones were in use left and right. People cancelling dinner plans, calling friends, calling family. I called my mom and dad, and a couple friends. It definitely kept things lively for a while. But eventually the interest died down. And it started to get hot in the train. With no power, there was no A/C. And the train was about 3/4 full. And it was a muggy, warm day outside. It quickly got very stuffy and uncomfortable. The kids who were sitting behind me started to get restless, but bless their hearts, they never cried and never got upset. Their parents kept them busy and played with them. Thank God. However, one irritable queen stormed through the car and up to the call button and summoned the conductor. "EXCUSE ME!" he shrieked. "Yes, sir" "Could you at least unlock the windows in here?" (s)he was not having this. "Sorry sir, we were keeping them closed to keep out the smoke" (In truth, we were far enough away that this wouldn't have been an issue.) "Well we don't care. We are hot and we want them open. NOW!" "OK, I'll send someone to unlock them, sir." As he made his way back up the car, I heard him mumble something to the effect of "Dumb fat bitch." Some queens just can't control themselves in heat. It took an HOUR for the firefighters to get the fire under control. By then the CTA conductor and the staff member who boarded the train to help out had opened the windows and all the end doors in the train. It cooled off, and even the irritable queen was smiling and relaxed. We knew we would get out of this eventually. Finally, 1 hour and 30 minutes later, we started moving again. So that was my adventure. As of now, there is nothing in the news about it. If something should come up tomorrow, I'll add it to this post. But sorry, no pictures. But all the while, I thought to myself, "Great, something to blog about!" :)

Bloggers Meet at Local Club

I guess that's how the headline would read... Yesterday, I met my first set of bloggers. Of course, I already knew two of them, but still, this was a first for me. It was organized by Andy(matic) (who I hadn't met yet), and it included me, NoFo (Jake) and Palochi (Scott). We met on the new wonderful rooftop deck at Sidetrack and shared a few drinks, a few stories, and a few songs as well. We also met Andy's cute boyfriend, Ron, and were also joined by a few other Chorus boys. In all it was a nice evening, if a bit short. But it was fun putting the faces to the names. Thanks for a fun night, guys!

More Strange Happenings in the Online World

(Reposted from Sunday night... it was hidden among too many other posts... and it's just too weird.) I had THE most bizarre chat with someone Sunday. I have no idea who this person even was. But it was just... WEIRD. Read on: Strange Guy: hey Unsuspecting Me: Hey SG: whats up Me: Not much SG: koolio SG: do you have a kitty? Me: Yeah, two SG: aww i have 1 Me: Cool SG: do you have any other pets Me: Nope SG: kool i have 21 rats Me: (Inside Voice) [What the FUCK!?!?] (Outside Voice) wow SG: yeah i had a suprise litter....a huge litter lol SG: they look like little puppy dogs SG: the grandma rat has a crush on my cat and chases him around And that is where the chat -- with this bizarre, freaky, wacko guy that should be in a movie with the theme song sung by a young Michael Jackson-- ended. Hello Twilight Zone. Yikes.

I need to watch more TV

Apparently I missed all of this last night while wasting hours on the computer. I need to start turning on the TV more often when I am home alone. Oh if only I wasn't at work right now... ;-)

Random Ramblings

• I just love the Olympics. All those hot studly little short gymnastic men. All those swimmers in their short shorts and bikini bottoms. Why it's enough to make a boy get ... a little hot & bothered... • I'm meeting with fellow bloggers Palochi, NoFo and Andymatic on Monday at Sidetrack for a few drinks 'n Showtunes. I already know Palo and NoFo but I haven't met Andy yet. It's the first "official" gaybloggers.tribe.net Chicago meeting since I've been a member there. And the first since Andy moved to Chicago... should be a fun time! • I'm getting ready to go camping next weekend. I still haven't recovered financially from the Montreal trip... but I need another getaway. • I had a wonderful phone conversation with my friend Ellizzette yesterday. She is always such a joy to talk to. If you've read my old journals, you will find her in there... she used to live in Chicago but now lives in NYC. Since she's been gone we probably have become even closer friends... although I miss seeing her in person. Oh the memories I have of sitting up and watching TV (usually Frasier reruns) and eating pizza or hot cocoa. Good good memories. :) I need to go see her. Very soon. • I watched the movie "Some Like It Hot" yesterday. (I've discovered that I have this wonderful DVD player with surround sound and I hardly use it.) What a fun movie! It's become one of my all-time favorites. • It's still only in the 50's here at night. Now mind you, I love sleeping comfortably, but I fear that autumn has come early to Chicago. Where have our summers gone? • I so do not want to go to work tomorrow... but oh well... bills must be paid. Sigh.

Take me out...

The Cubs game went off just fine. We had over 70 guys this time, and once again made an amazing impression on the fans and on the Cubs organization. Pics are coming soon, I'm just too lazy to get them all formatted and ready for posting. The only thing that sucked about it was... well.. two things: 1. They announced us... and showed our name on the scoreboard... as the Chicago Gay Men's CHOIR. (As opposed to CHORUS.) 2. We weren't on TV or the radio. BUMMER. Now mind you, the Choir/Chorus thing doesn't COMPLETELY suck... because: a. They at least announced as and showed our name as Chicago GAY MEN'S Choir. That is what's important. b. Nobody booed, nobody sneered. But EVERYBODY cheered! It was a gorgeous day, and the Cubs won AGAIN. So I think we have to consider ourselves lucky... and good luck to the Cubs. Can't wait til we do it again next year!

The Summer of Sad News Continues

We got the news today that another Chorus member has passed away. Bill wasn't a close friend of mine or anything... he'd been a member for many years. But he never looked very well. He hadn't been around much lately either. So the news of his passing didn't come as a huge surprise. Still, after Eric's passing so recently, it is going to be a somber reconvening of the Chorus come September.

My Experiences With Men - Part II

Last night, I met another AOL Boy out for drinks at Sidetrack. As you may recall, I had a disastrous outing with the last such AOL-type guy. This time was not much different. Aside from the drunken part. This time, the meetee (I being the meet-er) was much younger... 9 years younger than me in fact. Except he should have been 19 years younger. He was young in just about every way possible... as in naive. As in he still lives with his parents. As in he just wasn't right for me. I've been chatting with this boy for probably over 4 years on AOL. We haven't necessarily been the greatest, closest of chat buddies. I would sign on, he'd say "Hi, how are you?" and I'd say "Fine thanks" and trade a few updates and that'd be it. I should have known meeting him would be a bad idea. When we would chat, he would get frustrated if I didn't respond right away, and would get upset if I didn't have much to say. He always would try to pry information out of me (or so I thought.) To be honest, I found him irritating. But yet, I was cordial and always nice to him. I knew he had a crush on me. I don't mean that to sound arrogant or anything... it's just a feeling I had. Apparently I was right. A few nights ago, he caught me online again. The same banal conversation ensued, and finally he said, "When are we going to meet?" I must have been tired or weak or whatever. I said, "How about Thursday?" So we agreed to meet at Sidetrack at 10 PM. I know what you're thinking right now. "Rick, how evil of you. Leading this poor kid on. You knew you weren't interested in him. Why put him through this?" Uh-uh. I am not evil. I just wanted to get this over with. Is that evil? I don't think so. Maybe he would end up being a sweet guy, and I'd fall madly in love with him and we'd live happily ever after. Or not... Thursday arrived, and I got home from work on time. I was tired, still feeling lousy, coughing, sneezing, sniffling, overall feeling miserable. I didn't want to go. He called at 9:15 PM. "What are you doing?" "I'm making dinner, what are you doing?" "I just got done with work... I was wondering if you wanted to do something 45 minutes early." "Uh... no... I am going to make dinner first." "Oh... ok...." he sounded dejected already. (Oh great.) "I'll meet you there between 10 and 10:30.. ok?" "OK, see you there." (OK... I REALLY didn't want to go now.) I finished dinner, got changed and checked a few messages online (Damn that Tribe for being so addictive!) He called at 10:30 right on the nose. "Where are you?" "I was just about to leave..." "OK, I'm here." I had no choice. I was committed. I had to go now. So I got there and we met, finally. OK. He is a nice guy. But he's just not my type. Like I said, he's very young. He's very naive. Comparatively, I have been around the block... many, many times. It was Comedy Night at Sidetrack. He had never been before. (He lives out in Crystal Lake, a very far-away suburb, with his PARENTS.) I had to explain most of the routines being shown to him. He either didn't get the humor or had never heard of half of them. (Thankfully he knew Mommie Dearest, or I would have had to have left. Immediately.) Then he got touchy-feely. You may recall the last time this happened. I didn't like it then and I didn't like it this time either. In no way was I giving him the signals that I was at all interested in being touchy-felt. Yet he persisted. An arm around the shoulder, a touch on the back, a hug at a moment that didn't really need a hug. Standing MUCH too close. He was like a puppy that craved attention. And I wasn't in the mood for another pet. Now don't get me wrong. I wasn't mean to him or anything. In fact, I tried to keep the conversation going and keep things as light as possible. But he must have sensed that I wasn't in the mood to be... snuggly. So he got self-conscious and finally said, "Am I making you uncomfortable?" "Well... in a way, yes. I came here to meet you... but I'm not comfortable with the touchy-feely stuff." "OH ok.. I'm so sorry." He immediately got distant and self-conscious. I felt bad... for a minute. And then I decided it was getting late and I had to go home. So I said good night, gave him a hug goodbye, and left. In hindsight, maybe I should have been up-front and said "Look, I'm not really looking to date you. I just am here to meet you as a friend. I don't want to give you the wrong idea. I hope that's ok." But I didn't do that... and now I feel a little guilty. And why is it that these guys that I'm not so interested in are so touchy-feely but guys that I'm ga-ga over want nothing to do with me? Men are so damn confusing. Of course, I don't help that situation any by being so ... me. ARRRGH.

Cool Temps/Cool News!

I feel like a steamroller flattened me today. And yet I still went to work. Bleah. The weather hasn't helped much. It got up to a blistering 63 degrees today. Brrrr! Talk about a chilly August. I'm coughing and hacking up lungs left and right. Now ain't that a pretty sight? :-) OOOH I forgot something cool to tell you! This weekend I'll be with the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus as we sing the National Anthem at the Chicago Cubs game! Yup that's right, we sing the National Anthem before the Cubs vs. Dodgers game at 12:20 PM CDT on Saturday, August 14 at beautiful Wrigley Field. This will be the second time we will have done this-- the first time was September 27, 2003, at a certain double-header game where the Cubs clinched the division title for the first time in 14 years. And after we sang, we got to see BOTH games! It was an awesome experience. Here's a few pics of that glorious event! Lining up to go in and SING! (That's me front and center. I was the first one to walk on the field. It was INCREDIBLE.) Oh say can you see.... There were 90 of us there-- the most that's ever sung the National Anthem at Wrigley. And the FIRST Gay-identified group, ever. Our name up in lights on the Scoreboard! Pictures posted by Hello So anyway, if you have cable and get Fox Sports, watch for us... Saturday, August 14 at 12:00 PM CDT. We might just be on TV :) (We were televised last time.) OK that's all the big wonderful news I had to post... back to my regularly scheduled boring life. :-P

Hazardous Waste Vol. III

We interrupt the smell of baking bread with this... the latest in the "Poop Juice" saga.... (click headline for the latest) In case you missed it, here is the original story. I swear, I'm not making this up.

Domestic Dude

So I was home sick from work today (really.) I was hungry, so I went to make some toast. OH NO! No bread in the house. So what's a housebound sick boy to do? Posted by Hello Mmmmmm :) Nothing like freshly baked bread to cure the pangs of hunger. :) And it was damn tasty too. Eat your heart out Martha "Jailbird" Stewart.

Hazardous Waste Vol. II

The plot thickens... Finally, some REAL news in this city! ;-) (Click on the title for the story...)

Me! Blog of the Day!

I was someone's Blog of the Day! Really! Check it out... Banshee's page

Hazardous Waste

Could you imagine? Ew... Bus waste scuttles boat tour By Angela Rozas and Brett McNeil Tribune staff reporters Published August 9, 2004 At the outset of a Chicago River boat tour Sunday, Capt. Sonja Lund deadpanned that passengers should not look up with their mouths open when passing under the city's grated bridges, lest they get a true "taste of Chicago." About 15 minutes later, passengers got more than that. They got a deluge when the boat was doused with a foul "liquid substance" that appeared to drop from one or two charter buses as the boat passed under the Kinzie Street bridge, passengers and tour officials said. Witnesses said they had just begun the Chicago Architecture Foundation's 1 p.m. tour when they passed under the bridge and a cascade of a "brownish-yellow" substance rained on them. About two-thirds of the passengers seated on the upper deck of Chicago's Little Lady were soaked. Passengers said they looked up to see at least one, possibly two charter buses rumbling above. A volunteer tour guide at the boat's helm reassured passengers that they had been splashed with water. But the foul smell prompted suspicion.There was "stunned silence initially. Then sort of this horrible realization as they began to smell themselves as to what happened," said Steedman Bass, 35, of Boston, who was a passenger on the boat but was not sprayed. "It was horrific." Passengers shouted that police should be called and demanded the boat be turned around. Within minutes, the tour headed back to the dock at Michigan Avenue and Lower Wacker Drive, speeding as "fast as the boat would go," Lund said. Some passengers became sick from the smell and made use of the boat's lower-deck bathrooms, Bass said. At the dock, the 120 passengers disembarked and were given refunds for the $25 tickets, exchanges or open-ended tickets for later tours. Some were given cab fare to get back to hotels and some passengers' dry-cleaning bills will be paid, foundation officials said. The boat's crew swabbed the deck clean and set off only slightly delayed for the 3 p.m. tour. "We feel very badly for these people who have had this day's event ruined," said Bastiaan Bouma, vice president of marketing and tours for the foundation. In 50 years of operation, the tour has never experienced something like this, he said. "Obviously, this wasn't our fault. But we were just trying to make it as comfortable for the passengers as possible." Bouma said that he was told that someone recorded license plate numbers from the bus or buses and reported the plates to police. He said he hoped to know the name of the company by Monday morning and would demand the company's buses be inspected for defects. "Tomorrow morning we'll find out what buses were involved, and hopefully we'll get some answers," he said. Police confirmed a report had been made, but said it was not being investigated as a crime. A local tour bus company official said he had never heard of a bus unloading liquid waste into the river from a bridge. Charter bus companies typically contract with disposal companies to get rid of their waste or dump it at their own disposal sites, he said. Passengers said they were shocked at the awful timing of the improbable hit."If you tried to orchestrate this, it would be an almost impossible scenario," Bass said. Copyright © 2004, Chicago Tribune

What if they blogged?

I've found a new talent for myself. The topic du jour on Tribe lately is... "If They Had A Blog." People are posting names of people they think would have interesting blogs.. if they kept one. Common ones are Salvador Dali, Oscar Wilde, Nelson Mandela (the attention whore, as Toddy says,) Janeane Garafolo, and countless others. Yet one name caught my eye... and my imagination. (Thanks to EViLL) - Jesus Christ. What would Jesus's blog read like? Fascinating stuff. EViLL started it off:

"Woke up. Washed feet. Learned I could walk on water - how cool is that? Wept. Said 5 Hail Marys and she was all like, "I heard you the first time, Jesus Christ!"

I found that funny... so I added my $.02

"Went in the fridge and there was nothing there but some cold fish and a stale loaf of bread. I was freaking out because I had people coming over in an hour. So I just talked to Dad and next thing you know, the whole fridge was full-- all kinds of fish and enough bread to feed a multitude. Had to fill bushels with the extra. It was nuts. Sometimes Dad doesn't think about leftovers. Oh well, at least my friends were full."

I instantly saw my Hell-Score go up 50 points. And a new inspiration was born. I couldn't be stopped. So I decided to ghost-write for a few more "famous folks"... Joan Crawford

"Got up at 12:30 AM. Started weeding roses. Decided they were in my way, so I chopped them down. Yelled at Christina. (She's so insolent.) Drank a fifth of gin to ease the pain. Strangled Christina because she was obstinate. Sent her to boarding school. I love my children, really I do..."

Bette Davis

"Woke up, smoked a cigarette, went for a drive in Beverly Hills, went shopping. Smoked another cigarette. Fought with my daughter. Pissed off a few media types, but hell, I don't care. Went on Letterman and put him in his place. Still waiting for my next movie deal..."

Martha Stewart

"Guards woke me up. I told them a nice pleasant "Good morning" is sufficient, but they insist on banging on the rails of my cell. Rude. All we had for breakfast was oatmeal. I wish I could add a sprig of fresh mint at least to make it presentable. These people know nothing about presentation. *sigh*..."

George W. Bush

"Uh... Laura made some corn flakes... yummm... Put sugar on em. They were yummy. Dick Cheney gave me my "To-Do" list for today. I couldn't read half of it. Had to ask Dad what it meant. Might go for a drive if I could find my car keys. Oh wait, I ride horses. Duh.."

Eve (of Adam &)

"So Adam and I were just sitting around, looking at all the pretty things ... AGAIN... when all of a sudden this ugly snake comes up and starts trying to shove this apple down my throat. I told him that it was too round for my throat, but maybe a bite would be good enough. After all, I WAS hungry (and getting REALLY tired of leaves and twigs. Yuk.) So I take a bite and give some to Adam... and all of a sudden I'M NAKED! WHAT THE HELL??!!! So I run to hide myself from Adam. Perv. At least that nasty snake was gone...."

I think my celeb blogs are more exciting than my own. Yikes!

Don't Drink and Walk...

I got home around 2:00 from Mom and Dad's and quickly got ready. This weekend was Halsted Street Market Days. In Chicago, there are three weekends that are considered "Gay High Holy Days." One is IML Weekend (International Mister Leather) which is always Memorial Day weekend. The second is Pride weekend (The last weekend in June) and the third is Halsted Street Market Days. For those who have never been to this conglomeration of shirtless men and tacky merchandise, Market Days is the largest street festival in the City of Chicago. It occurs every August, usually the first or second weekend. It happens on Halsted Street, between Addison and Belmont. Yes, that's right in the heart of Boystown. For two days, the street is closed off and the show begins. Shirtless men, Hetero and Homo, adorn every nook and cranny of the street. Peddlers from far and wide display their wares-- some cool, most tacky, never cheap. There's music stages, featuring artists who are up-and-coming and a few that are definitely has-beens. (This year's highlight was A Flock of Seagulls. Really.) And then there's the food. Chicken on a Stick is popular, as is hand-shaken lemonade, and of course, BEER. Plenty of booze to go around. Add in a dose of (usually) potent sunshine and steamy temperatures, and you have a weekend of sights, sounds and smells that is quite remarkable. So I dashed onto the El to make it in time for some prime viewing. This is people-watching central folks. The men are something to see. It's as if they come out of the woodwork for this event, proudly displaying a summer's worth of tanning at the beach and action at the gym. You can't sneeze without seeing another bronzed specimen waddling past, his arms too big to hold down to his sides. Oh yes, this is definitely another parade. I ran into a few friends of mine and then made it to the booth for the Chorus. This is the Chorus's prime recruiting time. We hawk new members, season subscriptions, potential donors, and people to add to our mailing list at Market Days. Without this, it'd be hard to continue adding fresh meat new members each year. So my initial reason for going was to help out at the booth. Yet upon arriving, I could see that things were well under control. So I stuck with my friends and we proceeded to drink, eat, and be merry with everyone else. What's sometimes disturbing (and amusing) is the lack of control people have over their alcohol consumption. It's my theory that alcohol and hot sunny sweltery days do not mix. People are stumbling over themselves, throwing up, and getting into fights left and right. It's amusing in a repulsive sort of way. Some people just don't know their limits. One particular gentlemen accosted us verbally as we were leaving the festival. We were standing on a corner waiting for the light to change, when he slurred "Get outta my way... move it, please" We didn't say anything. To him. The light changed. We started to cross the street. "Yeah, Go Kerry. Get that fucking Bush outta office" he blurted, after seeing one of us wearing a "Kerry for President" sticker. "Yes, that's right, ok, thank you sir," we said, as we continued to walk past him. "Yeah you fuckers, better vote. Yeah..." he kept on going. I turned around and shouted, "Don't drink and walk!" We exploded in hysterical laughter.

Procrastination King... That's Me

So I'm sitting here, putting off my trip north to Kenosha to see my parents. This is oh-so-typical. It's not that I don't get along with them-- I do. It's just that I loathe sacrificing my weekend for a weekend of parental bliss. Is that selfish? Again, please, don't get me wrong, I LOVE my mom and dad. I really do. But sometimes, a little dose is just enough. This weekend is looking to be a big dose. I'm going up tonight because tomorrow morning we get to do chores all day. That's me, my sister and her husband. The chores are being planned because we are getting ready to move Mom and Dad out of their house. It's a monumental task. There is nearly 40 years worth of shit in that house. The basement, for years, was a dumping ground. If a toaster broke, we bought a new one. But instead of throwing out the old one, it went in the basement. Why? "Someone might need to use it." HUH!? It's BROKEN! THROW IT AWAY! Nope. There it sat, along with three other toasters, 5 electric frying pans, countless broken pots and pans, a few blenders and even an ancient mixer that my grandma once used. My parents are pack rats. And they are the worst kind of pack rats-- major junk savers. So this is round two of junk disposal. Round one was my sister and her husband spending a week in the basement, dumping crap. They filled up three huge dumpsters. THREE. And it's still not done. Of course, the fact that I wasn't there to help was a major bone of contention. In fact, it caused my sister and I to have a HUGE fight, something we rarely ever do. But it was Pride week... and I told them I couldn't do it that week, but that was the only week that worked for them. So they did it, and I wasn't there. This weekend we are hitting the garage, which is another post for when I get back. Imagine nearly 40 years of paints, chemicals, and fertilizers. Oh I bet you can. I can't believe the damn thing never blew up. I need to get going before it gets too late. Wish me luck.

"There is no worthwhile institution that they would dishonor, much less destroy..."

The recent Superior Court decision in Seattle is passionate and articulate about several reasons why marriage equality just makes sense. For those who might be interested, here are some excerpts from King County Superior Court Judge William L. Downing's opinion in Andersen v. Sims: (Click here for the full text of the Judge's opinion.) There was no deeply rooted tradition of interracial marriage at the time of the U.S. Supreme Court's consideration of anti-miscegenation statutes in Loving v. Virginia, supra; yet, the Court analyzed the issue of their constitutionality in terms of the broad right to marry and found that right to have been infringed. There was no deeply rooted tradition of marriage while delinquent in child support payments at the time of the U.S. Supreme Court's consideration of statutes prohibiting this in Zablocki v. Redhail...(1978); yet, the Court analyzed the issue of their constitutionality in terms of the broad right to marry and found that right to have been infringed. There was no deeply rooted tradition of inmate marriage at the time of the U.S. Supreme Court's consideration of statutes restricting this in Turner v. Safley... (1987); yet, the Court analyzed the issue of their constitutionality in terms of the broad right to marry and found that right to have been infringed.... It is true that marriage has long been defined as the union of one man and one woman. It is equally true that the shape of marriage has drastically changed over the years. It took a very long time for the courts (with legislative bodies sometimes understandably following just a little behind) to break down the traditional stereotypes that relegated women to second class status in society and in the marital relationship....Serving tradition, for the sake of tradition alone, is not a compelling state interest.... Some declaim that the institutions of marriage and family are weak these days and, in fact, stand threatened. Any trial court judge who regularly hears divorce, child abuse and domestic violence cases deeply shares this concern. It is not difficult, however, to identify both the causes of the present situation and the primary future threat. They come from inside the institution, not outside of it. Not to be too harsh, but they are a shortage of commitment and an excess of selfishness. Before the Court stand eight couples who credibly represent that they are ready and willing to make the right kind of commitment to partner and family for the right kinds of reasons. All they ask is for the state to make them able.... Of course the laws never have placed a requirement on marriage that the parties procreate nor do they prohibit from marriage those who are unable or disinclined to procreate.... The legal question is not whether heterosexual marriage is good for the replenishment of the species through procreation. It is. The precise question is whether barring committed same-sex couples from the benefits of the civil marriage laws somehow serves the interest of encouraging procreation. There is no logical way in which it does so....It rationally serves no state interest to harm certain...children by devaluing the immediate families that they have joined.... It is good for children to be raised in stable families with a father and a mother. There is not the slightest question about this. It is a situation to be encouraged by the state. But, can it be said that fewer children will have this stability because couples consisting of two men or two women are allowed to have a relationship that is state-sanctioned? There is no reasonable explanation for why this would be so. There is no reasonable expectation that, should such a legal result come to pass, married fathers and mothers will abdicate their parental responsibilities or young would-be parents will defect from the ranks of heterosexuals.... On the other hand, when one peers into the future, one circumstance is far more certain to occur. Many, many children are going to be raised in the homes of gay and lesbian partners.... One, then, must try to envision two categories of future children. The first category consists of those whose heterosexual parents will either neglect them or never conceive them because same-sex marriage has been legalized. The second category is those children who will be raised in a home with same-sex adult partners and who would enjoy enhanced fmaily stability and social adjustment if these adults were granted the benefits of civil marriage. The only reasonable conclusion is that the very real second category greatly outnumbers the first theoretical one. Therefore, the goal of nurturing and providing for the emotional wellbeing of children would be rationally served by allowing same-sex couples to marry; that same goal is impaired by prohibiting such marriages.... Unlike the documented impact of children's exposure to domestic violence and substance abuse in the homes of lawfully married heterosexual couples, as to children raised by intact same-sex couples there is no science, only questionable assumptions based on stereotypes. The Court concludes that the exclusion of same-sex partners from civil marriage and the privileges attendant thereto is not rationally related to any legitimate or compelling state interest and is certainly not narrowly tailored toward such an interest. If there is indeed any outside threat to the institution of marriage, it could well lie in legislative tinkering with the creation of alternative species of quasi-marriage....Better, perhaps (in terms of simplicity, fairness and social policy) to allow all who are up to taking on the heavy responsibilities of marriage, with its exclusivity and its "till death do us part" commitment, to do so - not lightly, but advisedly.... The privilege of civil marriage and the various privileges legally conferred by that status are not being made equally available to all citizens....[In addition, the] denial to the plaintiffs of the right to marry constitutes a denial of substantive due process. [T]hese plaintiffs...include exemplary parents, adoptive parents, foster parents and grandparents. They well know what it means to make a commitment and to honor it. There is not one among them that any of us should not be proud to call a friend or neighbor or to sit with at small desks on back-to-school night. There is no worthwhile institution that they would dishonor, much less destroy....The characteristics embodied by these plaintiffs are ones that our society and the institution of marriage need more of, not less. Beautifully spoken words. Your thoughts?

Close call

OK, this creeped me out. A bit too close to home, folks. Dirksen Federal Building Chicago, IL Photo © Chicago Tribune Ill. Man Accused of Courthouse Bomb Plot By NATHANIEL HERNANDEZ Associated Press Writer Published August 5, 2004, 5:03 PM CDT CHICAGO -- A convicted counterfeiter with an apparent grudge against the courts was arrested Thursday on charges of plotting to blow up a federal courthouse, but he never actually had materials to make a truck bomb, authorities said. Prosecutors said Gale William Nettles, 66, was arrested with a pickup truck containing 1,500 pounds of fertilizer that he allegedly thought was volatile ammonium nitrate, the farm chemical used to blow up the Oklahoma City federal building. Nettles had planned to sell the chemical to terrorists who would blow up the Dirksen federal building, U.S. Attorney Patrick J. Fitzgerald said in announcing the charges Thursday. But all the other people involved, including the "terrorists" and the people who sold him the fertilizer, were cooperating witnesses or federal agents, Fitzgerald said. Nettles told the undercover agent he could make a 3,000-pound fertilizer bomb. "He had a rational plan to build a bomb. We weren't going to wait to see if it would work," Fitzgerald said. Timothy McVeigh used a bomb made of 4,800 pounds of ammonium nitrate to blow up the Oklahoma City federal building in 1995, killing 168 people. Nettles was arrested at a park early Thursday with the pickup truck when he met the undercover agents who he thought were terrorists, according to the criminal complaint. The fertilizer he obtained in the sting does not have the explosive potential of ammonium nitrate. According to the complaint, Nettles met July 26 with an undercover agent he thought was a member of a terrorist group. In a recorded meeting, Nettles said he had a half ton of ammonium nitrate in New Orleans that he could have in Chicago in two days and that he had a target in mind -- the U.S. courthouse downtown, the complaint said. A federal magistrate Thursday ordered Nettles held until a detention hearing Tuesday. No plea was entered, and defense attorney John Theis declined to comment afterward. Nettles was released from prison in 2003 after serving time for counterfeiting and apparently retained a grudge against the court system, Fitzgerald said. The Dirksen federal building in downtown Chicago houses federal criminal and civil courts and the U.S. attorney's office. Fitzgerald said Nettles was not working with any other groups but had asked cooperating witnesses about contacting Al-Qaida and Hamas. Nettles also had a previous conviction for armed robbery in Cook County and was on parole at the time of his counterfeiting arrest. In 2001 he claimed he had mental disabilities, according to court documents. "He's 66 and he's spent -- probably conservatively -- 45 of those years in prison," said attorney Ronald J. Clark, who represented Nettles in the counterfeiting case. "It surprises me that Gale would seriously be involved in something of this magnitude," Clark said. He described Nettles' counterfeiting as a "fairly pathetic attempt." Nettles had been living at a transient hotel in Chicago since his release following the counterfeiting sentence, authorities said. Sam Gelles, 35, another hotel resident, said Nettles was an introverted computer whiz who went by the nickname "Pops." "You couldn't really read him," Gelles said. Copyright © 2004, The Associated Press

For the love of GOD, MAKE IT STOP!

My department manages the website for our Firm. It's usually a pretty easy task, and doesn't require much participation by me or my co-workers. There are those who have the duty of updating the content, and that's their job. Aside from formatting an image or two a day, I don't have much involvement. So yesterday, we posted a story on the website. When this happens, an Email is sent out to the department and all involved attorneys about the posting. Well damn it if the floodgates didn't open up. Something was apparently VERY wrong. First one partner REPLIES ALL and says he found an error. Then ANOTHER partner does the same thing. Then ANOTHER. Soon they're having a virtual E-chat about the error. And my mailbox is piling up with these pointless, annoying E-mails that have absolutely NOTHING to do with me whatsoever. And it didn't stop there. After they got the problem resolved, they proceeded to banter. And let me tell you, attorneys who banter are NOT FUNNY in the slightest. Oh they try... but oh, they fail. Meanwhile, my mailbox was bursting at the seams. My "New Message" indicator popped up so many times I was about to scream. I wanted to REPLY ALL to everyone in 72 point lettering "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAKE IT STOP!" When all was said and done, I had nearly 20 Emails on the said subject. Don't these people have billable hours to worry about? And don't they know how to reply to one, and NOT to all? It's not just that we aren't involved... we just don't CARE! Besides, I have much more important things to do with my time... like bitch about things like this on my blog. Silly people.

Sentimentality

This post was originally a comment to a post by Hot Toddy. (click the link to read his post.) But it was too long for a comment, so I'm posting it here in its entirety... Wow what's with all of us getting reflective lately? I know when I first moved to Chicago, I wanted to get away from the quiet, rural life of Kenosha (a/k/a Kenowhere) Wisconsin and plop myself right in the middle of a big city, with bright lights, big buildings and all kinds of crazy people everywhere I turned. I got what I wished for. I moved to an apartment in a not-so-great area that had an incredible view of the skyline. Every morning I woke up and looked at it and thought "Damn, I finally live here!" After a while, the novelty wore off. I missed grass and trees. I missed sidewalks that weren't caked in beer bottles and litter. I missed kids riding bikes and laughing and the feel of a neighborhood. The area I lived in didn't have that. It was a concrete jungle, and I was in the heart of it. I looked around and found a great neighborhood that had what I was looking for. Then I found a friend who needed a roommate. And I made my move. Now I live alone in the same neighborhood, and for all intents and purposes, I still have what I was hoping for. It's quiet, I feel safe, I look out my window and see birds and trees and people doing things... that remind me of home. You never give up who you are. You may supress, and even reject a little of it. But it's always a part of you. And wherever you go, and in whatever you do, and in the people you meet and make friends with, you find more parts of yourself. That's one of the joys of life. I like it when you get sentimental. It reminds me of someone I know quite well. :-)

I want my cats to be famous like these cats...

Keep watching this site. It will happen. (Thanks to Jake for the link.)

POETRY: Thunderstorm

Like the smallest pebbles The drops of rain fall Gently and soothing Upon the windowsill. As the wind blows, They change direction, Spattering against the glass. Cleaning away the grime Of a city caked in dust. Bright white flashes of light Brilliantly flare in the sky As the sound of thunder Crashes against the walls And shakes them to their core. I sit quietly in my room And close my eyes And imagine myself Drenched in rainfall. The wild weather's wrath Encircling me in fury. Washing me clean. For the water cleanses My soul and senses. And as the rain subsides So do I return To everyday life. -RA

Ain't it the truth...

Lola sure knows how to put it right. I'll let the comic do the talking.

Speedy Delivery

Bzzzzzzzz Bzzzzzzzz Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I went to bed VERY late the night after I got back from Montreal. I must have been wired still from the trip, even though I was completely broke (still am) and painfully exhausted. Nonetheless, I had blogging to do and guys to cruise. I had to catch up! Very early the next morning, I was awakened by my doorbell. I remember wondering if I had forgotten about plans I had made with a hot boy and quickly started to grab the essentials-- lube, rubbers, etc... But first I had to answer the door. I was more than half-asleep still, but I made it. It was the Fed Ex guy delivering a package to me. (Insert crass remark here.) I buzzed him in and he left it on my front doorstep. I must not have been fast enough. (Or I fell asleep again somewhere in between the buzzing in and opening the door.) Before I went back to bed I opened the package... it was from my friend in NYC who's moving to Australia-- an American Pride Flag. How cool! She left me a nice note. I read it, still groggy and nodding off. So I went back to sleep. I don't know where I'm going to hang/fly this thing. I live in a half-courtyard apartment building with no flagpole. I already have an American Flag that I bought after 9/11 that is still folded properly and put away for the same reason. But it's cool. I'll definitely keep it and treasure it... and someday I'll use it.

My Acronym

This is creepy... it's like it KNOWS me... Thanks to TunaGirl (whose blog I just love) for this one. I know it's an old thing but what the hell. I'm new to this. Get over it. :)

R	Radiant
C	Complicated
K	Keen
T	Tame
M	Misunderstood
A	Amazing
N	Noisy

R	Rounded
I	Insane
C	Cheesy
K	Kind

(Cue "Twilight Zone" music... I swear. This is me to a "T".)

Name / Username: Name Acronym Generator From Go-Quiz.com

Shout-Outs

It's been a while since I've done a shout-out, so I need to catch up. I'm finally seeing some comments now and then, and I just want to say THANK YOU! :) So here's a shout out to: Toddy, Jake, David H., Archerr, and palochi. Thanks guys!

Bloggin' in my Noggin

In Gay Bloggers on Tribe.net today, we are discussing a fellow blogger who recently quit his blog because someone was hurt by something he said. It rang home pretty true to me. I've been down that road before. If you've perused my blog anytime before, you know that from 1997-1998, I kept an online journal. I started it when I was getting ready to move to Chicago and I let it chronicle pretty much everything that happened to me from the time I found out about the job and the move to the actual move into the city, to my adjusting to life there. I probably didn't even put that much thought into it then, but reading it now, it's interesting to see what was going on in my head at the time. Even though it was only a 6 years ago, I was in such a different place than I am now... a very different mindset. I stopped posting to the journal because someone I cared about was upset about something I had posted. I realized that I was venting TOO much of my emotions. I was being mean. I was expressing anger through my words. When it got back to me that those words really hurt someone, I stopped. I didn't do any type of journal until I started my blog just this past month. The pages of my old journal are linked on my blog now. I find them fascinating and read them from time to time-- maybe to recapture some sort of "Newness" that life had back then, or maybe to remember some of the really good times I had. (Oddly enough, sometimes I have a hard time remembering people and details. Time does march on.) I want this blog to be more about me than the old journal was. That was essentially just a diary without "Dear Diary" before every posting. I like the blog concept because you can really share yourself more-- your likes and dislikes, your fears and your joys, and of course, the funny, crazy moments in life. I hope that nobody ever gets hurt by anything I say here... as that's never the intention. But a wise woman once said, "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke"... Or just fuck 'em... that would be nice too... If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go wash out my potty mouth and go to bed now. Gnite.

My sordid night on the town

Sex! Lies! Passion! Oh I could be such a smutmonger if I wanted to be. Alas, aside from a few failed attempts online, there was no sex to be had. Sorry. However, there were plenty of flirtations at Sidetrack last night. I met up with Rafael, my friend who watched my cats while I was in Montreal, for some drinks and showtunes. I also had plans to meet a guy I had been chatting with on AOL for the last few days. So I had plenty of bases covered. I ran into AOL Guy first, and he offered to buy me a drink. First impressions being what they are, he was attractive, but he didn't stop me in my tracks. I greeted him with the customary hug and said I was also looking for a friend and would be back in a minute. He said he'd wait for my return. I found Rafael in the adjoining room and told him about the AOL guy. Of course, he accused me of being the "Second string" guy to the AOL Guy, but I assured him that he clearly was main reason I was there. So back to AOL Guy, who by this time had downed a few too many bottles of Miller Lite. He was attractive in a baked-in-the-sun-too-long kind of way, and nice enough. So I accepted his drink (also a Miller Lite, not my favorite, but I wasn't going to complain at the prospect of free alcohol) and chatted a while. He introduced me to some of his friends (Thing about me #101 - I am horrible at remembering names.) and watched videos and boys and that was about it. Eventually Rafael found us and I introduced Rafael to AOL Guy (more to the point, I said "This is my friend Rafael" and let Rafael introduce himself. I admit, I forget the guy's name. I am so lame.) Also in the group was Richard, another Chorus guy. I sort of wedged myself between Raf & Richard, keeping AOL Guy at bay. But then he made his move. First his hand was on my ass... then wrapped around my back, then he was getting all touchy feely in ways that I wasn't too comfortable with. Now don't get me wrong, normally, I wouldn't mind being touchy feeled in public if it was with someone I liked or was really interested in. However, this quickly was not becoming the case with (Increasingly Drunken) AOL Guy. Finally he had me from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist and tickling me. I'd had enough. I was facing Rafael and said "Help!" He didn't hear that one, and (I.D.) AOL Guy had me in a Half-Nelson chokehold sort of thing on the floor at this point. I pleaded a little louder, "HELP!" Rafael suggested we go to the roof deck. I gladly obliged. (I.D.) AOL Guy seemed disappointed, but at that point I didn't care. I told him I'd be right back. (Oops!) He caught me later on, and looked dejected, slurring his words. By now he was simply Drunken AOL Guy. Drunken AOL Guy: "Sscho, what'sss wrong?" Me: "Well I was just a little uncomfortable. You were a bit too touchy-feely for me." D.A.G.: "Oh... I'm sschorry" M: "Don't worry about it." *lengthy, uncomfortable pause* D.A.G.: "Well, I sschould prob'ly go ffind my ffriendssss" M: "OK, bye!" And that was the last I saw of Drunken AOL Guy. After I got rid of him, I ran into Terence, who is someone I have always had a crush on (and slept with a few times as well). He was being overly flirtatious. I was being overly receptive. But Raf was around and I didn't want to be a complete whore and forget about him, so I controlled myself. And then he went home. Dammit. Then, I ran into Jonathan. Backstory: Jonathan is this studly dude that I met at a party a few months earlier. He's Chicago born n' raised, and I initially thought he was straight, only to find out (to my pleasant surprise) that he was gay after talking to him for a while. We shared a kinship over our mutual friend's record collection. (That's LP's, not CD's.) But, just when I was developing the hots for him, he mentions his boyfriend. DAMMIT. Anyway, we exchanged Emails and kept in touch for a while, but lost touch after a bit. A few days ago, he Emailed me again, and said he was moving up near me. I thought that was curious, since I knew he lived with his partner. But I didn't pry. He also mentioned a roommate that he hardly knows. I grew even more curious. We agreed to go to a Cubs game together in a couple weeks (Gay Days at Wrigley) so I felt a glimmer of hope. Then I ran into him last night. Turns out that he has, indeed, broken up with his (now-ex) boyfriend, who turned out to be a psycho (don't they all?) and a loser (speak the truth, brother) and a user (AMEN!) In fact, he just got done moving into his new closet of an apartment and stopped by the bar for a few drinks. And there I was to comfort him. I know what you're thinking. You: Comfort him means bring him home to have your way with him, you floozy. Me: Who, ME? You: Yeah, you... you'd be online looking for sex anyway, and now it's fallen RIGHT IN YOUR LAP (so to speak)! Me: I think you have me confused with someone else. I had no such intentions. Honestly. But we did spend the rest of the night together at the bar, talking about bad Ex experiences and sharing life stories. And making catty comments about people and videos playing at the bar. It was fun. And we are getting together to see the Cubs game in a couple weeks. So the night was not a bust, at all. Even though I went home alone and sat online for another 3 hours. I am a good boy... honest!

What time is it? (Volume II)

Early to bed Early to rise Makes a man A really lame loser A big fat dork A brown-noser A goody-two-shoes A guy with no life Healthy, Wealthy and Wise!

What time is it?

Oy. I just woke up. It's nearly 11:45. I had another one of those "can't-sleep-because-I-need-sex-but-I'm-not-getting-it-so-why-am-I-wasting-my-time-online" nights last night. That coming after a day where my emotional rollercoaster was going higher and doing more hairpin turns and loop-de-loops than ever before. OK, I was a mess yesterday. First it was Eric's funeral. That would do it to anyone, right? It was a nice service, held in the big Catholic church just steps away from Boystown. I'd always passed by the place but never gone in... being the good ex-Catholic that I am. The service was nice, but again, it was oh-so-typically Catholic. Long. Lots of standing and sitting. Communion. The usual drill. Communion struck me as odd. All these gayboys were going up and getting Communion. I had to wonder how many of them actually do the "right Catholic thing"-- go to Confession (now called "Reconciliation,") and tell all of their sins to a Priest. If I had to do that, I'd keep the poor old guy there for a week. It's not worth it. Might as well let him eat and sleep and do the things he needs to do, rather than sit there and listen to me blather on. (And starve to death in the process.) A few of us joked (predictably) that we were suprised that we weren't struck down by lightning when we walked in the church. Yes, it's an old one, but it's still effective. So anyway, the service was nice, the Chorus sang (although we didn't sing our first choices-- the songs had to be religious or Biblical in theme or we couldn't sing them. Luckily in our last concert there were two such songs ready to go, or would couldn't have sung anything. Catholics.) I was touched by the large number of people that came to pay their respects to Eric. So was his family. While I was extremely sad, this warmed my heart greatly. I was honored to have known someone who made so many wonderful friends. Then I started thinking, "How well-attended will my funeral be?" Boy what a downer. After the funeral we had lunch at Ann Sather's, a popular restaurant not far from the church. The Chorus was supposed to sing again but we decided it would be inappropriate so we didn't. So we paid our final respects and moved on to Sidetrack for the video viewing party for the Chorus's spring show, "Low Hanging Fruit." Talk about a shift in emotion. Now we were all together and laughing and having a fun time. But I was still in one of my moods. I wasn't feeling overly social. I enjoyed myself, but I had no money with which to buy a drink, so I didn't have one. I felt out of place. I actually thought about leaving a few times, but I stayed until the end. When I got home, I decided I was "in for the night." I was supposed to go to a couple more parties (one hosted by old friends of mine that I haven't seen in a long time) but I just wasn't up for it. Instead, I made dinner, played with the cats, and sat online. I'm still in a funk today. I need to snap out of this. I know my friends are probably at the beach. I should maybe go and see if they are there. Or maybe not. See how conflicted I am? What should I do? And I still have no money. I won't for another week. Damn that trip to Montreal for being so damned expensive. Oh look... Manhunt....