Screech in the Sunshine

Screech in the Sunshine, my contribution to "A Minute in the Life" for Gay Bloggers on Tribe.net. Isn't he adorable? :) Picture hosted by Hello by Picasa

Is there anyone out there?

Sometimes I wonder if I'm posting stuff for my own entertainment. Maybe I am. In any case it doesn't look like anyone's reading this thing. Am I that boring? Would you rather hear of my sexual escapades? Oh wait, there aren't any to tell about. How about my dating life? Oh yeah, that's right, I don't have one. I'm sorry, I am just foul and bitter about things lately. I went to my friend Eric's wake tonight. It was, to say the least, a very sobering experience. Three weeks ago I was talking to him. Now he's gone. He was only 37 years old. Ridiculously young. His body failed him. Bad kidneys, bad liver. Why is it that someone so wonderful had to be struck down so quickly? His family was all there. Eric was Filipino. There were family members everywhere. They loved Eric. They knew he was gay. They loved him because he was their son, their brother, their nephew or cousin. It made me feel even more love and appreciation for him. I could see where he got his wonderful personality from. Tomorrow is the funeral, and the Chorus is singing. I don't know how I'll get through it, but that's what we do-- we sing, even when times are rough and our hearts are broken. It's the greatest gift we can give to Eric. He would be so thankful. As we were for him. Sorry, I'm overly melancholy tonight. I actually tried to sit online and coordinate a hookup. Bad idea. I'm just not in the mood. In fact, I haven't been for quite some time. I just don't want to bother with that anymore. Too much work, and not enough reward. What's the point? If you're reading this (if anyone is) you may have also noticed that I jumped on the "100 Things About Me" bandwagon. Of course, I added a few "sub-points". There might be some surprising things in there, there might not be. But it's all about me. I'll move them to my other server after a while so they don't clog this page up so much. Boy is this ever a true RcktRambling. I'm just spouting out what's in my mind. Random thoughts. I guess that makes a true weblog. Or a journal. Or whatever you want to call it. A boy in distress Cries out for the hand That comforted him Throughout his life From childhood To adulthood. He reaches for it, Finding the air, And grasps at nothing. Thing about me #93: I like to write poetry to clear my mind.

100 Things About Me

1. I am single. 1a. This rarely ever changes. 2. I love to sing. 3. My favorite food is Italian. 4a. I make a kickass meatball. 5. I was born in Kenosha, Wisconsin 6. I am a Packer fan, but not a Brewer Fan. 7. I am a Cubs fan, but not a Bears Fan. 8. I used to have a Cabaret show at Gentry in Chicago. 9. I worked for Six Flags Great America for 12 years before the bastards fired me. 9a. It was the first time I'd ever been fired. 9b. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. 10. I grew up with dogs, but I own two cats. 11. I have one sister, and she is married. 12. I have no nieces or nephews (yet). 13. Most of my friends are in the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus or the Windy City Performing Arts. 14. I am a member of both groups. 15. I am not related to Danny Aiello. 16. My favorite artist is Elton John. 17. The RcktMan in my name is an homage to Elton John's song "Rocket Man" 18. My first online experience was on Prodigy back in 1992. 19. I used to consider myself an Independent voter, but I now consider myself a Democrat. 20. I was raised Catholic, but do not practice it anymore. 21. My uncle is a priest. 22. I have only one first cousin. 23. My mom had my sister because she did not want me to grow up an only child. (She was an only child.) 24. We named our second dog "Cubby" after the Chicago Cubs. 24a. His name was my idea. 25. My cat's names are Pippin and Screech. 25a. Pippin is named after the musical, not the basketball player. 25b. Screech is so named because he's so chatty, not after the "Saved By The Bell" character. 25c. My ex named Screech. 26. I have friends all over the country and in many areas of the world. 27. I have never been to Europe. 28 I have never been to paradise-- or to me, for that matter. 28a. I don't know what the hell that means. 29. I never knew either of my grandfathers. 30. I have relatives in Italy who are enormously wealthy because of their coffee empire, "Aiello Coffee" 30a. I have bought and tasted Aiello Coffee. 30b. I don't know any of these relatives, therefore will probably not inherit a penny when they die. 31. I did the layout for Carol Moseley Braun's resume in 2001. 31a. She paid me $200 for the service. She paid with a personal check. I have a copy of the check. 32. I have never kissed a girl. 33. I have never had sex with a woman. 34. My first kiss and my first time having sex with a man was when I was 23 years old. 35. I am now 33 years old. 36. I have a solo on the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus's first CD, "Cool Yule." 37. My favorite drink is Rum & Coke 38. I have never done drugs of any kind. 39. I have never smoked a cigarette. 40. I have smoked cigars but only puffed on them. 41. I am a top. 42. I love to kiss. 43. I love to cuddle. 44. I am extremely affectionate. 45. I can be a bit of a loner at times. 46. I have been called "introspective" 47. In college I was heavily involved in DECA, a student marketing organization. 47a. I was elected Wisconsin State SE Region Vice President in 1992 and State President in 1993. 47b. I was elected State Alumni President in 1998 (after having moved to Chicago). 48. I served on the board of CGMC for 2 years. 49. I will not serve on any boards again for a long time. 50. My last ex and I were together for a year. 50a. It was my longest relationship. 51. One of my fondest memories is going to the Wisconsin State Fair with my family and going down the huge slide. 52. Another fond memory is going to see my Grandma in Antioch, Illinois. It always seemed so far away. 53. I had my tonsils removed in July of 2003. 54. I have decided to omit the previous #54-55 and #57 for personal reasons. 55. omitted 56. I am surrounded by a network of wonderful, loving and supportive friends. 57. omitted 58. My father is Diabetic and my mother suffers from Emphysema. 59. While growing up, I wanted to be a teacher. 60. I graduated with an Associate Degree in Marketing in 1994. 61. I still want to complete my Bachelor's and Masters degree someday. 62. I live way beyond my means. 63. I have horrible credit. 64. I own a car, but still rent my apartment. 65. I would like to buy my own condo within the next 3 years. 66. I cry at sappy movies and songs. 67. I love comedies. 68. I love gardening 69. I grow my own herbs. 70. I hate housecleaning and laundry. 71. But I love when my home is clean. 72. I have a gym membership that I haven't used in 4 years. 73. My bike has sat with a flat tire for 3 years. 74. I thoroughly believe that if I worked out, I'd be "Hot". 75. I am too lazy to make that happen. 76. I listen to music when I fall asleep. 77. "Queer Eye" is about the only TV I watch anymore. 78. I hate seeing movies by myself, so I rarely see movies. 79. I love to cook for myself. 80. I rarely ever go out anymore. 81. I cut my own hair. 82. My favorite breakfast food is Eggs Benedict. 83. I love Tombstone Pizzas. 84. I would fail miserably at the Atkins Diet. 85. White Castle hamburgers are my nemesis. 86. I have very few enemies. 87. I believe there is a direct correlation between one's relationship with his or her family and the type of person he or she is socially. 88. I have a very good relationship with my family. 89. I am not a morning person. 90. I am a definite night owl. 91. I spend a lot of time online but rarely ever "hook up" anymore. 92. I'm ready to "settle down". 93. I like to write poetry to clear my mind. 94. My favorite author is John Irving. 95. I think Dolly Parton is one of the most underrated artists alive today. 96. I think The Beatles were geniuses. 97. I think George W. Bush was the biggest failure of all of the US Presidents, ever. 98. I think John Kerry will do a fine job as our President. 99. I have voted in every Presidential election since I became eligible. 100. I think the future of America is pretty bright.

Precious Time

The same day I got back from Montreal, I found out that one of my friends in the Chorus had died.   Eric was one of those guys who was always around, and you always expected him to be there.  He was quiet, unassuming, and warm.  Yet he never wanted anything special.  He just was a good person.   He had a penchant for drag.  In fact, he made a knockout drag queen.  And he was fiercely talented when it came to makeup.  Many of the boys in the Chorus came to him for makeup tips whenever they needed to be done up for a show.    He had a radiant smile.  It lit up the room.  And a hearty laugh to back up the smile.   He wasn't one of my best friends, but he was, indeed, a friend.  Four years ago when I was working a dead-end job in retail, he stopped in at the store and we had a long talk about how I wasn't happy with my job and needed to find something new.  Eric helped me.  He recommended me for a position where he was working.  I went in for an interview, but it wasn't the right fit for me at the time.  However, hedidn't stop there.  He got me in contact with a former co-worker of his who was leaving her position at the law firm she was working at.  I interviewed with them, and have been there now for the last 3 years.  Without his encouragement and that extra push that he gave me, I might not have made the transition at all.  I have Eric to thank for that.   Having said that, I certainly hoped I appropriately thanked him.  I'm pretty sure I did, but if not...   Eric, thank you.  You were a true friend.    I will miss you. 

Blogarama

Well I've been at this now for about a month.  So far it's pretty fun.   On one hand, it's given me something fun to do instead of sit on gay chatrooms all night long.  On the other hand, I'm still up til all hours reading blogs and posting comments. The rest of the time I'm tweaking this blog, adjusting the template, trying to make it just right.  I could use some tips if something looks awry.  So far, though, I think I'm doing pretty good.   I put my blog on a couple search engines in hopes that I get some more readers.  Question is, will they want to read it?  I think I have some interesting things to say and some good stories to tell.  There's definitely more to come.  What's here is only the beginning... I've got other ideas conjured up, but I can only do so much.   One thing I have to stop doing is blogging at work.  I'm gonna get caught.  Can't let that happen.  I got a really great review just before I went on vacation (plus a 5% raise.  Can't beat that in these times.) So I just have to cool it.  It's fun though.  I could very easily be a powerblogger.  I just need to set the right paramaters and stick to them.   In the meantime, I'm lonely, I'm horny, I'm bored, and I need some excitement in my life.  Oh wait, I'm also poor, at least until the 7th of August.  Damn this job's stupid paydates.  I need money, and NOW!  (Montreal was an EXPENSIVE trip!)   At least Chorus starts up again in a month.    God, I'm pathetic! 

Pictures from GALA

As promised, here are some of my favorite pictures from the GALA festival in Montreal: Friends    Me and my friend Sonelius, formerly of CGMC, at the CGMC bash.  A group of us at Arnie's birthday dinner  The Slickers pose outside the performance venue before our Tech rehearsal.  Quebec City The Hiiills are Aliiive... with the sound of Muuuuusic....  Château Frontenac, the most photographed (because it's the most beautiful) building in Québec City.   How gorgeous is this city?  Concerts CGMC members pose after their triumphant performance that opened the Festival.  Unison performs "My Soul's Been Anchored In The Lord"  New York performs "You Can't Stop The Beat" from "Hairspray" (The best of 8 different renditions at the Festival.) Pictures hosted by Hello by Picasa 

I just love this comic...

If you haven't become a fan of this comic yet, please do so.  I think you'll enjoy it immensely.  It makes me smile. (Click on the comic to view at full size.) One Big Happy  by Rick Detorie Visit the One Big Happy website by clicking here. 

STORY TIME: My First Boyfriend- Conclusion

The last part of the story of Donnie, my first boyfriend. (This story was written in 1995 for my first website.) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - About a month later I learned that Donnie would be moving to Houston. His mother and sister would be moving back to Atlanta, where they originally came from. I was crushed. I was really falling for Donnie and now he had to leave. We decided that even though he was leaving, we would continue things up until he left, thinking that maybe someday I could move down with him or vice versa. It killed me to think he would be leaving... but eventually he did. He was gone for about three months when one day I got a call from him. "What would you do if came back to Racine?" I answered, "Well of course I'd be incredibly happy.. but what would you do? You have no job, nowhere to live, and I can't move out because I'm not ready!" He said, "I could probably figure something out." I figured that was that and left it there. The next evening I got home from work and checked the answering machine. There was a message. "Rick, this is Donnie. I'm back in Racine. Give me a call tomorrow at this number.." I cried.. tears of joy and tears of sorrow. I didn't know where he was or where he was staying. But he was home. And as far as I knew he came back for me. We saw each other the next day and holding him in my arms was the most wonderful feeling I'd ever felt. He got his job back at the gas station and was living with the owners. I knew that wouldn't last long because he never got along that well with the owners... but for now he was here and that's all that mattered. We dated for a while but for some reason the magic just wasn't there like it used to be. I became busy with school and then started working in Illinois. He worked every day at the station and we hardly ever saw each other. Eventually I met another guy and we dated for a while. He was cute, younger, and fun to be with.. but he was 18 (and for some reason that bothered me)... ...and I wasn't over Donnie. I broke up with him about two months into our relationship. I told him I loved Donnie. He understood. He was a good guy. I went to see Donnie the next night. To my shock he informed me that he would be moving to Lexington, Kentucky to live with his father. He wasn't happy in Racine and needed to get out. I was crushed more than ever before. I lost my chance with Donnie.. the guy I truly loved. We made out a bit in the back room and hugged a lot. Then I left. About halfway down the road from the gas station, I called him on my Cell phone. He was still there. I was crying. "Donnie?" "Yes?" "It's Rick.. .I'm in my car. I was just thinking after I left..." "What's the matter?" "I love you, Donnie. I will always love you." "I love you too, Rick" "Don't go. Please." "I have to, Rick.. there's nothing else I can do" We talked for a little while then I hung up. I saw Donnie one more time after that. He had a going away party but I couldn't go because I was sick. I cried so much I didn't think I'd have any tears left. He called me from his party. We were both crying. I told him I loved him again. He told me he loved me. The next day he was gone.. .and I haven't seen him since. We have kept in touch via phone and mail since then. He now lives in San Jose, CA and has a room mate that he says likes him a lot.. but he's never stopped loving me or thinking about me. Judging from my tears as I type this, I realize that I still love him. Very much. And I always will. Perhaps we were meant to be together, and if so, I hope that someday we can and will be. Until then I hold very precious memories of the times we spent together, and great regret for all the times we could have been together but weren't. We parted against our will. We still have contact.. but it's not enough. I wish he were here now to dry my tears, to hold me and comfort me and tell me everything will be OK. But he's not and I must deal with that. I miss him. I will always love him. I guess what I learned from this story is, "You don't know what you've got until it's gone.." as the song says. I never realized just how wonderful Donnie was until I realized he would be gone. Life is unexpected with the way it works. You could be walking down the street, minding your own business, when all of a sudden fate smacks you in the face with a new adventure, a new love, or a new tragedy. All you have to do is keep your eyes open and your senses aware. You never know what will happen next. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A few months after this was written, I realized I had lost Donnie's phone number. I was pretty devastated, looking all over the place, and even phoning directories trying to find him, but to no avail. One day Donnie phoned me and informed me that he was, indeed dating the man he was living with in San Jose. They had been together for some time and he was happy with him. I was more than happy to hear from him again, and I finally got his phone number and could call him whenever I wanted, but I didn't. I felt it was time to close the wounds from this experience, and I was doing a good job of that already. So I called him very sporadically. A while later, I heard from Donnie again. He was moving out of the apartment he was sharing with that guy, and they had broken up. He was moving a few blocks away into an apartment with a friend of his. I was slightly happy to hear that, but again I felt like it was useless getting excited about it. He still wasn't going to be moving back anytime soon. He said he'd call me with his new phone number once he got settled into his new place. I never heard from him again. Closure has happened. I am over Donnie. Though I will still have a place in my heart for him, as most everyone does when it comes to their first love. I am still single, still looking for someone to fill that space, but I guess I compare everyone to Donnie. That's not fair, but I guess that is an unwritten rule somewhere when it comes to relationships. I had hoped he would call before I moved to Chicago, but he never did. It just wasn't meant to be. And I guess that's just fine. I'll live.

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Epilogue, 2004: Many relationships--one much more serious than Donnie--later, and looking back at what I wrote nearly 10 years ago about him, I see now how young and naieve I was back then about love.  Having been through the pain and the sorrow of the ending of a relationship one too many times, I know it never gets easier.  But when you're 23 or 24 and still new to everything, it seems like the end of the world.  Donnie was special, though I wonder if I really loved him.  I'm not so sure now.  I still think of him fondly, occasionally, but I don't really know if I understood what love was back then.  I think I do now, but I also think that love takes on many different characteristics depending on who he is, what the relationship is based on, and the when, where, why and how you fell for him.  The fact that I haven't had a relationship that has lasted over a year probably speaks to my still-evident inexperience in this area.  Maybe, hopefully, that will change someday, but it is good to know that I am capable of loving.  I know that will never change. -R

Oui oui, good to be home!

Montréal, mon ami, our time was shortened but I had a wonderful time.   I came home a couple days early due to a lack of funds and a huge dose of homesickness.  But that didn't stop me from having a wonderful time and enjoying nearly every second of the trip.    Nearly... well, there were a few moments where I wondered whether my trip was ever going to be a vacation and not a whole lot of work. But then it turned around and became everything I had hoped it would be, and more.   First of all, yes, I did have sex. Once.  With one guy.  And then it was over.  It was fun but it could have been better.  Oh well... at least I wasn't completely dry all weekend.   Second of all, yes, I did have a few lap dances by a few stripper boys.  Oooh la la are the boys there BEAUTIFUL.  Everywhere you turn, another gorgeous man would walk by.  Talk about distractions.  So why not more sex?  Well considering that I am painfully shy in public and have the confidence of a groundhog who sees his shadow around all those hot boys... well, I would probably say that sums it up. 

Third, Montreal is not as pretty of a city as I had imagined.  It makes Chicago look like the crown jewel of cities.  I have never seen so much graffiti in all my life.  And if you ever thought the panhandlers and street people of Chicago were bad, you haven't seen (or smelled) the ones in Montreal.  Not pretty.

Don't get me wrong, there are parts that ARE pretty, I just didn't get a chance to see many of them.  Instead, I took a day trip to Quebec City, and I would have much preferred to stay there.  It was gorgeous... romantic, charming, everything I wanted from a destination city.  Everywhere you turned was another perfect postcard waiting to be snapped.  I will definitely be making a return trip there.    So anyway, back to GALA..

The premise for the weekend was the GALA Choruses quadrennial festival where all of the LGBT choruses from all over the world who wish to participate come together in one city and present concerts for all of their peers.  The larger choruses do the 30-minute sets and small ensembles of the larger groups present the 15 minute sets.  I am a member of the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus who did a 30-minute set and the Windy City Slickers who did a 15-minute set.  And let me tell you, when you perform in front of literally thousands of people who know what it's like to do what you are doing and appreciate you for coming out and singing your heart out as much as they enjoy doing it, the response is the most gratifying and stimulating thing you will ever hear.  It's like being at a rock concert and YOU are the reason they all came and paid $300 a seat to see you.    (Ok so maybe the $300 a seat is a bit excessive, but it's not too far from the truth considering the travel expenses, registration, etc.  But I digress...)   CGMC opened the entire festival, which is a pretty big responsibility to take on.  Of course, since there are always two concert blocks going on at any given time, we were up against the Boston Gay Men's Chorus, which also is a very good chorus.  But CGMC has opened every one of the last 7 GALA Festivals, so people come to see us.  We had a full house.  The set was extremely well-received and I heard nothing but raves the entire weekend.  In fact, a documentary crew was filming our set and wants to include one of the numbers in the final film.  I think that's pretty exciting.   The Slickers also had a fun set.. although I was much more nervous about their set than I was for CGMC, and for obvious reasons... there's only 10 Slickers, whereas there were over 70 guys in CGMC.  The same screw-up in the Slickers is seen or heard a lot more clearly than in CGMC.  Luckily there were none.   The rest of the time was spent watching other choruses perform and catching some of the sights, sounds, tastes, and other sensual pleasures of the Montréal/Québec area. 

So, here is a list of the most memorable moments (good and bad) during my trip to Montréal:

• Performing on stage with CGMC and hearing the audience roar-- numerous times.
• Performing on stage with the Slickers and getting such an amazing response.
• Québec City.  In a word: Magnifique.
• Seeing my friend (and former duet partner) Sonelius, who was formerly in CGMC but now lives in New York and is now in the New York City Gay Men's Chorus.
• Getting to know the men and women of Windy City Performing Arts better.
• Cringing and pretending I could disappear during The Rainbow Chorus ("Flowers Have Agendas!"  Honest.)
• Stunning performances by:
• The New York City Gay Men's Chorus
• The Los Angeles Choral Artists (only in extistence for 10 months before coming to the Festival)
• MUSE- the Cincinnati Women's Choir
• Lavender Light Gospel Choir
• The Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles
• The Columbus Gay Men's Chorus
• Connecticut Gay Men's Chorus (Them boys is just out of control!)
• Heartland Men's Chorus
• and of course all of the Chicago choruses.
• The comedy stylings of Lily Tomlin and Kate Clinton, forever goddesses.
• Singing "The Hiiills are alive with the sound of MUUUUUSIIIIC" on the hills of the Citadel in Québec City
• Lunch at Le Saint Amour in Québec City, where I had some of the most delicious Mushroom Creme soup I have ever tasted (along with everything else I had there that was amazing)... and I hate mushrooms!
• The Travelodge Montréal Centre, the tiniest hotel room I have ever been in.  God I am glad to have my bed back.
• Birthday dinner for Arnie at Food.  Yes, that's a restaurant.
• Parties on the Sky Bar terrace.
• Arnie, Jeremy and John in the hot tub on the Sky Bar terrace.
• The cute boy that joined them in the hot tub after they had been in there a while.
• The pictures I have to bribe them with.
• Naked strippers at Campus.
• Lap dances at Campus.
• Being on vacation with all of my closest friends.
• Coming home to a clean apartment and my two adorable kitties!

I'll be posting pictures shortly to accompany this post, so check back.  Til then, cya.  

My Bags are Packed... I'm Ready To Go...

Well I'm just waiting for the cab to come and get me.    I'm on my way to lovely Montreal!     I hardly slept a wink.  I spent the whole night packing and cleaning my apartment.  Think I'm nuts?  Well, there is nothing nicer than coming home to a spic-n-span apartment.  And thanks to my busting my ass, I will have just that!   My friend Rafael is watching Pippin & Screech while I'm away.  He's more of a cat freak than I am, so they'll be in good hands.   So I will see y'all in 10 days.  Whoever you may be!   Drop me a line (a comment would be nifty) and let me know you're out there!   -Rick

We've Won! (For Now...)

Fantastic news... thanks to everyone who called their Congresspeople, Senators and other politicos about the preposterous Constitutional amendment to deny marriage rights to gays and lesbians, the amendment was DEFEATED 48 to 50. George Bush lost this battle-- big time-- and that should have interesting consequences when election time rolls around. Of course the Repugnantcans won't stop at that. They'll do everything in their power to make sure that people like me and millions of others are denied as many equal rights as possible. Quoth The Bushman: "Activist judges and local officials in some parts of the country are not letting up in their efforts to redefine marriage for the rest of America and neither should defenders of traditional marriage flag in their efforts," "It is important for our country to continue the debate on this important issue, and I urge the House of Representatives to pass this amendment," Seems the only one who is making this such an "important issue" is the Bushman himself. And why not? He has an election to win. Or so he thinks. For every step forward there is a step backward. Expect one soon. But at least the steps forward are GIANT steps, while the steps backward are the tiniest of baby steps. We will win, but we MUST keep fighting.

Da Senator

Ditka for Senator. Can you believe it? Did we learn nothing from the Schwarzenneger nightmare? Oh wait, that's right, these are Republicans we are talking about. I forgot. So let's see, we have a complete moron as President, who stole the damn office in the first place (thanks to the Supreme Court and the legendary "hanging chad"), who can barely form a complete sentence without rehearsing it first, who was the Governor of one of the largest states in the union (geographical-wise) probably because of his name alone (of course that name wouldn't have influenced my decision, but I digress), and who has run our country into the ground financially, diplomatically, and politically. We also have a completely unqualified actor born in another country who knows nothing more about running a government than the fact that he made millions upon millions of dollars uttering such simple lines as "I'll Be Back" and "It's NOT A TUMOR" in movies as the governor of the largest state in the union (population-wise), elected to office in the greatest circus of an "election" known to man (after the Bush heist). So, then, in theory, why shouldn't Illinois elect a completely unqualified candidate for Senator, whose claim to fame was one (count 'em) one Super Bowl trophy for Chicago's Bears (Sorry, I'm a Packer fan, so I just don't like the guy anyway), whose speech patterns make Richard Daley look like a Fulbright Scholar, and whose knowledge of politics and making sound decisions lie in his decisions whether or not to play certain linebackers and whether to go for the 1st down or try for a field goal. (Scare ya that I know something about Football?) Yes, folks, the Republican Party is proving once again that they are truly trying to ruin our country. Why put qualified people into office when we can push buffoons and rejects to the front of the line to represent us all? These are scary times, folks. Please register to vote, please pay attention to what is going on, and please, I urge you, do what you can to make sure that Bush gets hedged this election year.

STORY TIME: My First Boyfriend - Part 2

(This story was written in 1995 for my first website.) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I drove over to the Citgo station. I could see him in the window. I was quite pleased. =) I gassed up, drove the car up to the building to park, and got out. When I walked in, he immediately recognized me. "HEY!" he said happily. "I was hoping you'd stop in!" My heart leapt with glee. "I love the box.. I'll keep it... but I wanted to know what you knew about car stereos.." He proceeded to ask me a bunch of questions about car stereo equipment... we talked about that for a while... then talked about where he was from... then talked about families.. then talked about music.. .then about TV.. then about God knows what else... I got in there at maybe 10pm.. next thing I knew it was 1am and it was time to close the store! He closed up, didn't kick me out.... we talked some more about whatever... finally he asked me "So where do you go out?" "Well, here and there.. nowhere in particular..." I answered. "Ever been to a place called 'Club 94'?" He asked. (Club 94 is a gay bar in Kenosha) "Well.. yeah... once or twice.. it's fun.. .I guess I like it." I answered, getting VERY excited. He asked me if he could sit in my car while his warmed up (this was about the dead of winter of '92, a VERY cold winter. He had a Renault. Need I say more?). I of course obliged. He locked up, we got in my car while his ran to warm up and he says, "OK I'm not gonna bullshit you anymore. I'm gay." "Well that's good," I said with a smile, "because I'm gay, too." We talked a bit more.. exchanged phone numbers.. and that was it for that night. We both had to get home. His name was Donnie. I was on CLOUD NINE for at least 48 hours after that. I visited him nearly every day after that. We'd talk all night long, sit in my car and wait for his to warm up, then go home. We never would kiss, we never got mushy.. it was just this strange new friendship thing we had. I felt silly standing around a gas station convenience store for all hours.. and my dad wasn't pleased with it either.. especially because I was there to see a guy! (My parents knew about me for a while before this) Anyway about three weeks into my visits with Donnie a friend of his came in and hung out. I could see that they knew each other pretty well... so at one point I asked him about Donnie. "How well do you know Donnie?" I asked. "Why, do you like him?" (he was rather blunt) "Yes.. why?" "Well let me just tell you. You're not his type. I wouldn't try too hard" I was crushed. As far as I knew, he knew Donnie better than anyone else, so I had to trust his word. Still, I thought that if Donnie didn't like me that much he wouldn't have been talking to me so much and letting me stay so late... I mean, there had to be SOMETHING there. However, I was very new to the whole gay thing and as far as I was concerned, his friend was right, so I made my visits to the gas station less frequent. But eventually that changed and I would stop in again just as frequent as before. One night we went to a bar behind the gas station for a quick drink after he got out of work. We had known each other for about three months at that point. I still didn't know what he thought about me, but I knew how I felt about him. I was falling head over heels in love with Donnie, and it was driving me nuts. After the bar closed, we sat in my car and talked. "This is it," I told myself. "It's now or never". "Donnie, we've been seeing each other now for about three or four months... and I've really grown to like you .... a lot. I just want to know... what do you feel?" "I feel the same way Rick." "Really? "Yes." I then asked him if I could kiss him. He said yes. It was the first time I had ever kissed anyone. And it was wonderful. Part 3 to come... stay tuned!

Montreal Here I Come

So I'm getting ready for my trip to Montreal! I leave this Friday for 10 days in sunny (?) Montreal as part of the GALA Choruses VII International Festival in Montreal, Canada. This is my second GALA, but I've never been to Montreal before, so I'm really excited. I'm going with CGMC and the Slickers... but I'll have plenty of time to see other choruses (and plenty of the sights as well!) Yesterday I got some shopping done, printed out all my itineraries (Gotta love Orbitz for the online tix), a map of the downtown area, and got all my paperwork together. All I have to do now is laundry and pack. Last night I went online to Gay.com and visited the Montreal room, where I chatted with this super cute boy from Ireland and another from Columbus, OH who saw our chorus when we went to a regional festival in Cincinnati. I think the super cute one from Ireland wants to meet... I hope so! He's a hottie! Anyone Out There? Hey if you're reading this, how's about ya click on "Comments" and leave one? I'd love to hear from you. Let me know what you think. Am I keeping you interested? Do you have suggestions? Do I totally suck? Do you want to bear my children? Let me know!

A letter of urgency

Please visit Moveon.org to write and send your own letter to the President and your Senators and Representatives. Dear President Bush, Senators, and Representatives: As not only a gay man, but also as a citizen of the United States of America, I cannot help but be disturbed by the removal of freedoms from our citizens that is occuring right in front of our faces. This is shameful and frightening. Our country was founded on freedom, and by removing the possibility of freedom from one class, group or sect of people, we are deconstructing the very foundation of our nation. This is wrong, and I urge you to realize it. I urge you to reject the politics of hate and division. Everyone has the same rights. There is no place in America for a Constitutional amendment denying marriage equality to anyone. Sincerely, Richard L. Aiello, Jr. Chicago, IL

My first visitor

Check out Im'mature - the blog of Flip, the first outside visitor to my blog!

July has arrived

Well I got my wish. Damn it's hot out. And humid. Let the parade begin! And just in time for me to go to Montreal. I hope to meet a hot French Canadian boy. Or two.

STORY TIME: My First Boyfriend - Part 1

Donnie was my first love- but he got away. This is our story. (This story was written in 1995 for my first website.) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - It all started in the winter of 1992.... I was working at a Best Buy in Racine, Wisconsin at the time. I had a 20 minute drive to get from there to Kenosha, where I was living, and the majority of the drive was along a highway that connected with my street. As I entered Racine, I would always pass by a Citgo gas station. On the way home from work, I would frequently stop at this gas station to fill up my gas tank. One night I stopped and went inside to pay my bill. There at the counter stood the most adorable, albeit gorgeous guy I'd ever seen. He had deep blue eyes, brown hair and was about 6' tall. I immediately knew he was gay... that instinct 'gaydar' we all have... but being rather shy I didn't say too much. I simply paid my bill and left. Needless to say my visits to that gas station became all the more frequent. It seemed that he worked there EVERY night.. so I was almost never disappointed. Once in a while I'd make small talk.. maybe just smile... he had the cutest Southern accent... I couldn't begin to place where it was from, but that combined with his adorable looks just made him all the more irresistible. At Best Buy I was a Product Specialist in the Audio Department. I had been there a few months so I pretty much knew what I was doing. One day I was at our 'answer center' and I looked up... whom did I see but Gas Station Guy, walking into the boombox aisle. I quickly scooted over there and said "HI". He recognized me from the visits to the gas station... and smiled. He wanted to buy a box... so I showed him all the features, gave it to him, and said, "See you around". That was about it. I was in bliss. The next day I was shocked to see that he had returned, with the boombox in hand. I waited for him to finish at Customer Service, then when he headed toward the boombox aisle again I asked him "Didn't like that one?" "No, I decided I wanted one with a CD player." "Well let me show you some that have one." We talked a little more small talk and I sold him the new boombox. I couldn't tell if he liked me or not.. and for that matter I couldn't tell if he was gay or not.. but deep down I knew he was.. he just had to be. That night, I looked at my gas gauge and... what a surprise! I needed gas! =) Stay tuned for Part 2...

We'll have an old fashioned wedding

The wedding was just lovely. Like I said, I'd never participated in a gay wedding before. It was quite a sight. It was also very multicultural. The grooms, David and David (yes, how cute.) wore kimono-type outfits, the attendants (Is it a Bridal Party if there is no Bride?) wore tuxes, the ceremony was Irish, Indian and Jewish in influence (replete with the glass breaking and "Mazeltov" at the end), the food was Italian, Vegan and Seafood, and the fashions ranged from the sublime to the casual. Joan Rivers would have had a field day. The Slickers sang two of their songs, "Come What May," which I had a solo in, and "Alone in the Universe/Nature Boy." I also had a solo... the processional song, which was "Someone Like You" from Jekyll & Hyde. Unison also sang a set of songs. So the music was Broadway and Movie influenced. It was a fun time for all, really, and emotions ran high. David E, who I am in the Slickers with, read his vows, which borrowed heavily from the lyrics of "Someone Like You." I was touched by the meaning of the song, which I really hadn't latched onto when I actually sang it. I'm still living the first verse of the song, up until "Someone Like You" comes along. Had this moment occurred years ago (around the time of my Old Journal posts) I probably would have become all melancholy and full of regret, wondering if I'll ever find "the one"... Ok maybe I had a moment or two of that... But then it passed, and it was time to party!

Bravo, Bravissimo!

No sooner than it starts, it's all over! The shows on Saturday went fabulously, and although the crowds were modest in the afternoon, they were both very receptive, and we absolutely performed our best. I was so proud of us (and the others.) Afterwards was a huge (and I mean HUGE) party at Charlie's Ale House in Andersonville (Yay, just stumbles from home!) and a chance to celebrate our wonderful show. Indeed, we should all be proud of what we are bringing to Montreal this year. It will be a very good showing. Today I am attending my first-ever gay wedding. In fact, I am singing a song and performing with the Slickers. The wedding is for the board chair of Windy City Performing Arts. I'm excited because I get to sing, of course, (where I will get the voice to do it I have no idea) but also because I've always wanted to witness an affair such as this. Of course it is not a government-sanctioned WEDDING, as those are not truly legal in Illinois (yet), but just the fact that these two people have decided to commit to each other for the rest of their lives and do so in front of friends, family and the like is so wonderful and so moving to me that I could not say no. Of course this begs the question, what on earth do I wear!?!? Well it's not happening for a while, and I'm only awake because the cats wanted food. I will sleep on it further and see what comes to me.

Another Openin' Another Show...

The CGMC show opened last night, and despite a very modest crowd, I think it went very well. This was the first show that I had people from work come to see-- and this wasn't just a random co-worker or someone from another department, either. One of my direct managers came and so did THE boss, the Chief Marketing Officer (as her title reads) and her daughter and husband. So yeah, it better NOT have sucked. They loved it, though-- raves all around. I was beaming. I'm disappointed by the ticket sales, though. We sold out nearly all of our Holiday shows for this season, which was because of a combination of a huge push in marketing, a surge in season subscription tickets and the Chorus talking up the show. We do three shows a season... the Holiday one, one in the spring (usually in April) and one during Pride. We switched the dates for our Pride show this year, however, and I think that hurt sales. Our reasons were valid-- there are a MILLION things to do during Pride weekend, and our show was always one of them. But I think that's what drives sales in the first place. One of the things people do during Pride weekend is see the Chorus. And when we weren't there to fill that need, they found something else. Now it's TWO weekends later, and we're still singing about Pride. Call me crazy but I'm Prided out. I'm sure others felt the same, hence the dropoff in sales. Rumor has it we will go back to "normal" next year. I hope so!! It really is a fun show, with some gorgeous singing.
Here are those German boys. Aye Aye!  The German set is adorable. They aren't always together and you can't always understand their English so well, but you have to admire their gusto and their love for staging. And the pirate costumes are pretty cute too... and flexible. One song struck me as hilarious-- they are wearing these little bandanas on their heads throughout most of the set, tied in the back. At one point they sing a song about swabbing the deck, and they stop, turn the bandanas around to mimic "Aunt Jemima" or something along those lines, and it is simply hilarious. There's much more but it's just worth saying GO SEE IT and find out. Windy City sounds fabulous of course, and their love for musical perfection is evident in their set. I also sing with the Windy City organization, however not this particular chorus, so I performed with them a couple weeks ago for their concert.
The boys from Windy City  Their musical director is taking them in a good direction, I think. Highlights are a sampling from Rutter's "Requiem" and a nautical set that is highlighted with "What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor". I can't help but think that if CGMC did that song, we would change it to "What Do You Do With A Drunken Drag Queen"... the lyrical possibilities are endless. Since we have the German boys to be campy and funny and silly, CGMC keeps it a little serious this time around, and frankly I'm glad.
Patrick Sinozich, CGMC's Artistic Director  Patrick Sinozich, our director, has assembled one of the most ambitious and challenging sets for our chorus in a long time, and we are really doing a wonderful job with it. Highlights are: Daemon Irrepitus Callidus, a truly demonic piece (whee!), Arise My Beloved, a lovely verse from Song of Songs that Patrick wrote a lush and gorgeous piece of music to accompany, Jimmy Jimmy, which is an upbeat ditty based on an old folk tune and tells a story that ends in a gay wedding (how topical!), and my personal favorite, This Moment As I Sit Alone, the marriage of the third movement of Rachmaninoff's Concerto for Piano and Cello (Andante) Op. 19 and a gorgeous poem by Walt Whitman that expresses his love for men and the question that if one can love a man in his own land, he could also love a man in other lands... it is moving, gorgeously arranged (again a Sinozich creation) and lovingly sung. So again, if you haven't got your tickets yet, you have two more chances. Performances today are at 5:00PM and 8:30PM at the Athenaeum Theatre and are on sale through Ticketmaster and at the Box Office. Click here for a visit to CGMC's website and click on the concert's logo for ticket ordering info. So I get to rest until our call, which is at 4:45. I think some guys are at the beach today, but the temperature is only 67 degrees at 10AM. Hm. Not prime beach weather, but I could use some fresh air. We had an opening night party at one of our members' homes last night and I was up far too late and drank one too many. Ouch. Why do I not remember to pop two Tylenol before bed? Silly me. So I am recovering and hoping this headache goes away soon. Fresh air could help, no? Yes. So I may have to join them. Whee! Please leave a comment if you're out there reading this! I have no idea if you are otherwise, and I'd hate to think I'm the only one that gets to enjoy my ramblings. :)

Old Journal Now Online!

Last night I posted my old Journal to my Geocities web account for your viewing pleasure. You can find the links at the sidebar to the left. I was nice enough to make them look pretty too... I had some god-awful background image on them before and they were UUUUGLY! But hey, that's how web pages looked back in 1997. ;) Reading those old posts, which were written starting around the time I got the job that moved me to Chicago, I'm reminded how "Mary Richards-ish" (from "The Mary Tyler Moore Show") I was back then. So idealistic, so hopeful, so giddy... I was moving to the big city, just getting my start in "adult" life. Who knew what would lie ahead? I could only wait and see. Seven years later, a lot has changed. And a lot more will change in the future.

I'm a nice boy, really I am!

Wow... My first few postings are really... ranty! I guess I really needed to vent a few emotions here and there. Now that I've got that out of my system, maybe I can do more fun stuff. :) Oh no! I smileyed! I told myself I wouldn't do that here, but dammit, I couldn't help it! Please, someone, make me stop before I go too far with the smileys!!! Well it's dress rehearsal tonight with the Chorus. We sounded damn good last night, but we can sound even better. I really can't wait until we do this show. It's going to be tremendous. Gotta run. Call is at 6:30 and it's almost 5:30. Driving from downtown to the Athenaeum is always a joy. Whee! Oh and wish me luck on meeting a cute German boy. Whoo hoo! ;-) Aaaaugh! :) Oh well. :-P

What's everyone so afraid of?

BREAKING NEWS! Ridge Warns of 'Credible' al-Qaida Plot Oh great, more terror news. It seems to me that every time the Department of Homeland Security issues a bulletin about possible al Qaida plots or strikes, the only ones getting all worked up is the Department of Homeland Security. Aren't these the same people that told us, way back when, that we should just go about or daily lives and not let ourselves get too worried about terror plots and the like? This increased paranoia is neither healthy nor productive. I have never seen an administration manufacture more hysteria than this one. They raise the terror level to ORANGE if someone's shoes don't fit right. They lower it back to YELLOW when they drop a few pounds. Everything's a crisis. Everything is a potential terrorist plot. Sure, I am worried about another strike. I think it's wholly possible. And it's our own fault. Instead of dealing with what happened on September 11 the right way, we have set ourselves up for strikes from more sides than we could have possibly imagined. We've ruffled feathers and angered nations. We have gone on the offensive where we had no reason to. We've become even more of a bully than ever before, and that, along with our excessive lifestyles and abuse of power and money, is what got us into trouble in the first place. Whatever happened to humility? Are we destined to be, now and forever, the nation that slaps the hand instead of the nation that holds the hand? Yeah, I'm scared. I'm scared of the life that the children of my friends and family will have to lead. I'm scared of the decisions this administration is making. If I can be at all hopeful, it is that the next administration will be able to quell some of my fears. But that doesn't stop the fact that damage has already been done. Things will never be the same. I've accepted that as truth, but I don't like it.

Is this REALLY July?

59 Degrees. Is this really July? I can't get over how chilly it's been. Where's the heat? Where's the humidity? Where's the shirtless men running around everywhere? I need a vacation. Oh yeah, that's right-- I'm taking one. OK granted it's in Montreal, Canada, where who knows how cold it will be (I'm no genius at Geography or atmospheric changes in temperature) but it sure will be nice to get away from HERE for a while. Plus, a nice long break from work would really be nice as well. I haven't taken too many vacations in the time I've been at Jenner & Block (3 years this past April.) This is what we call "Hell Week" in the Chorus. They ain't lying. By the way, have you got your tickets yet? Off to shower.

Welcome!

Well here we go. Thanks to my friend Jake, I am off and blogging away! (Thanks, Jake!) I trust that if you're reading this, you read my profile and all that, so I won't go into the specifics of who I am, what I do, etc. But if you haven't, take a gander at my profile and you'll get all that info. Actually, this isn't the first time I've done something like this. I had a "blog" of sorts when I first moved to Chicago in 1997. It's actually funny, because I recently just found all the old HTML files from that old website I used to have online. To think I actually sat down and created all the layouts and designed logos and everything. Could I do that again now? Probably. Do I want to? Hell no. Too much work. This is much easier. All the designs and everything are already done. All I have to do is type, and frankly, I think I do that pretty well. Now that I've started this, I might just post those old "Diary" pages here, just for fun. Actually, they paint quite an interesting picture of how far I've come since I moved to Chicago. It was 1997. I was 26 years old, I had moved out of my parent's house for the very first time, and I was officially "on my own." How scary was that? I look at the things I wrote there and I realize how incredibly naieve and "green" I was about a LOT of things. Thank goodness I'm jaded and bitter like everyone else in this fair city. OK, maybe I'm not quite that bad, but hey, I am still single after 7 years... Hmm. What is the point of a Blog anyway? And who decided it should be called Blog? As if chopping the letters "W" and "E" and smashing the rest of the letters together would make it somehow "hip" or "cool." (I love "Quotes" can't you "tell?") I suppose it's a great way of getting to know how someone thinks and feels-- and for that matter, how they write about it! It's also a great way for me to vent my frustrations and feelings about situations that happen in my everyday life. It essentially is an online journal. My original Journal was inspired by someone who I consider to be one of the pioneers of the "Blog". His name is Justin Clouse, and he currently lives in San Diego, CA. Although it seems he isn't posting to his diary anymore, he kept it going strong from 1995 until late in 2003. You can check his site out here. It's getting late and I have a long day tomorrow. I'm rehearsing with the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus for their Pride show this weekend. I hope you'll be there... if not, click here and buy some tickets, will ya? I'll do more posting soon. See ya then!