Summer Goals

Summer is fast approaching. Hell, if you didn't know any better, you'd think it was already here. Today's Chicago temperature hit 83 degrees. Rock on! So with the onset of the summer months comes a set of goals. Goals that I will probably forget all about in a week do everything in my power to acheive in the next few months. Goals that are completely unrealistic, knowing my track record are easy to achieve if I just apply myself. So without further ado, too late, here are my goals. 1. I will get my bike fixed and start taking those rides along Lake Michigan that I've been wanting to take for the last three years but I've been too lazy to do anything about my broken bike. 2. I will sell my car. After I fix all the dents and scratches and broken headlights that are on it now. 3. I will spend less time parked in front of my computer (except when I'm blogging) and more time outdoors. 4. I will spend more time at the beach if I can get up the nerve to take off my shirt in public again. 5. I will continue dating even though the guy I was seeing suddenly stopped calling and writing and I haven't heard from him in almost two weeks. 6. I will keep better track of my money. No smartass remarks there. 7. I will continue to blog, even when sometimes I can't think of a single thing to blog about. 8. I will probably look at this list in a couple weeks and laugh out loud, knowing that I hadn't even begun to accomplish any of them. 9. I will stop being so cynical. 10. I will forget about #10, because I know that cynicism is inherent in gay men, and there is nothing I can do about it. 11. I will start taking the train to visit my parents instead of driving. Because I will have sold my car. After I got it fixed. With all the money I'd saved because I had kept better track of it. Because I will have spent less time in front of the computer (minus the time spent blogging) and more time balancing my checkbook. Because I will be happily dating a sexy man. Because I will be in such good shape because I will be riding my bike everywhere. Because I finally fixed the damn thing. These are hefty, lofty goals. I need lots of encouragement and positive reinforcement to accomplish them. I think I can do it. What do you think? Wish me luck!

Out with the old

Honest to God, my life is truly this boring as of late. I am devoting post after post to new windows. Am I really this lame? Here is why I am excited to be getting new windows... The new ones are IN... but it's night time right now, so I'll take pix when the sun's out again.

I'm all alone

They're coming to do my windows today. So I brought the "kids" (Pippin and Screech) to my friends' place last night. Last night when I came home from rehearsal it was odd not having them around. I miss my babies. :( But hopefully tomorrow they can come home and peer out clean new windows. I just want this all OVER WITH ALREADY!

Lemons into Lemonade

Last night I gathered up a bagful of laundry (along with a handful of quarters), dragged a bag of garbage and trudged down my back staircase toward the laundry room. Interesting, isn't it? It's a usual routine for me. I'm always one to kill two birds with one stone (or for our animal lovers out there, to cross two T's with one stroke), hence the garbage bag and laundry bag at the same time. I keep all my laundry supplies locked in my storage cabinet in the basement. It's easier than having to trudge them all down the stairs every time I do laundry, and they're safe behind the lock.

Oh hell I'm boring you now. There has to be a point to this story, right? Well there is. You see, last night, when I got to the end of the building, I saw a bunch of old windows stacked up against the fence. Curiously, I looked around and noticed that new windows had been installed in some of the rear apartments. "Well that's just great!" I said to myself. "When do I get my new windows?" When I got in the basement, I got my answer. There they all were, stacked against the laundry facilities, and against all the storage units. Windows of every shape and size. Ready to be installed. I guess a trip to a laundromat is in order. I ran back upstairs and checked my voice mail. Sure enough, the landlord had left me a message saying that they were going to start installing new windows on Thursday (which was curious since they had obviously started on Wednesday.) She asked me to move everything away from the windows and get them ready. I went into full panic mode. The air conditioners finally came out. The plants all got moved. The curtains pulled away. And then I looked at Pippin and Screech, who were getting excited by all the activity. Oh crap! What do I do with the cats? I couldn't lock them in another room, because every room in my apartment has a window. So there is nowhere for them to hide. I had to wait until morning to find out what to do next. There was a possibility that they weren't going to work on my place that day anyway. If so, I could make arrangments for someone to watch the boys while my windows were replaced. If they were working that day, I'd have to stay home with them and keep them in their carriers. Which would be HELL. So this morning, after warning my boss at work that I might not be coming in, I found out that they were, in fact, coming on Monday. Or so they told me today. So what's the point of all this? Well, it's been a rough couple of weeks. And things are just about to be resolved. My landlord is going to get her money (I should hopefully get it tomorrow), and I will even get a little extra to help alleviate some debt issues I have had recently. And to top it all off, I'm going to have brand-new, sparkly-clean, not-rotting, cracked or falling apart, easy-to-open, and totally air-tight windows in my apartment... the one that I get to stay in for (at least) the remainder of my lease, which officially renewed as of May 1. So yeah, I'd say that's a pretty good turn of events. Case closed. On to the next drama. Coming up: How to deal with a car with two burned-out headlights. Next on Oprah.

Light at the end of the tunnel

The problems from last week are about 1/2 of the way through. I can't wait for all of it to be over and done with. Less stress = easier breathing. And I'm ready to start breathing freely again.

Oh my aching everything...

On Saturday, the Chorus took a road trip that led us to Peoria and Bloomington, IL. We did three concerts in one day. Three. Three hours of standing still on risers and singing. In addition to the umpteen hours of driving my dilapidated vehicle from point A to point B, then point C, and back to point A again. Standing on risers is not as easy as it looks. You have to stand perfectly still and try not to move. Meanwhile, you have to hope your knees don't buckle... or try not to pass out because the tiny theatre you are singing in is so blasted hot. My calves feel like I've done eight hours of workouts. And in reality, I have. Maybe it was that animalistic sex I had the other day. Or maybe it wasn't. Well, it could have had an effect. Oh would you look at the time... Gotta run.

The follow up you've all been waiting for...

Man I do a cliffhanger better than "Dallas" in the 80's, don't I? :) So about the guy... Would you believe we are still dating? Two weeks later, and it's still on. "Shocking!" "Ground-breaking!" "Amazing!" And those are my own interjections on the subject. I can only imagine what you've come up with. Tonight was date number 5. We had dinner at a wonderful Japanese restaurant (Rick does sushi. Don't everybody recoil in disbelief together.) and then went to see "The Hitchiker's Guide To The Galaxy,"... which I enjoyed very much! (Any movie that opens with a production number sung by dolphins is cool in my book.) So... the update is, we're still going well, and taking things slowly. Which is just about perfect in my book. It's nice. I haven't dated in so long... it's nice when it happens and happens the 'right' way. Whatever the 'right' way is. Tomorrow I'm off to Peoria and Bloomington, IL with the Chorus all day. It's going to be a long day, with three performances. But it will be fun. No rest for the wicked, as they say.

Bathing Pussies Part II

In case you are wondering what the HELL the title is all about... do check out The Traveling Spotlight today. You'll be glad you did. So the RcktMan household has another member today. Well just for one day at least. I couldn't let him sleep at Man's Country after all. I can only imagine the trouble he'd get into. I mean... think of it. A new guy, in a new town, seeing new (and I use that term loosely) sights. Sets the stage for quite an adventure if you ask me. I had pity on our dear Patrick. He is in town for a job interview, after all. I couldn't let him walk into the interview and refuse the offer to take a seat. Because it would hurt too much. You know what I mean. He was going to take the train into the city, but I couldn't trust him with that. I figured he'd pick up some homeless person and go back to his shack for a little one-on-one fun. My guilty conscience couldn't let that happen. So I offered to pick him up at the airport. He jumped at the chance. After all, wouldn't you want to get picked up at the airport by someone you never met face-to-face before? I figured he'd think it was hot. I was right. We called Tuna Girl on the way home. She told me to watch out for him and keep him in line. I told her that was my intention from day one. We both know that if you take your eyes off on this one, he's liable to disappear. (I done good, TG. He's still here.) So he offered to buy me dinner as payment for services rendered the use of my sofa. I accepted, of course. I had images of a lavish dinner at one of Andersonville's finer dining establishments, but Patrick suggested McDonald's or Wendy's. I compromised and suggested T's, which is at the end of my block. Good food, decent prices, and no drive-thru windows to be seen. Thank goodness I got my way this time. We came back to my place, and the cats immediately took to him like a cheap whore on a rich man. They haven't left him alone yet. I'm actually sort of amused by it, until he started playing with my pussies. I'm worried about them now. They may never be the same again. He kept playing "Pippin being born" (see below) with the poor guy. He's been hiding in the litter box all night and won't come out. Poor Screech's legs are crossed and he won't shut up. Damn him!!! I'm starting to wonder whatever possessed me to take in this guy in the first place. Could it have been his boyish charm? His sense of humor? His slutty ways? His way around a kitchen? No... I guess I just wanted the company. After all, it has been a rough week already. OK OK OK... in truth, I was really happy to host Patrick and we have had a great time finally meeting face-to-face. And yes, he is sleeping on the sofa. Probably with the cats. You can take the boy out of the pussy, but you can't take the pussy out of the boy. Or something like that.

Dude, I gotta chill

Today was a rough day. As evidenced by the post just prior to this one. Yes, I panicked and posted that thought. It was what I was thinking at the time. It was reactionary, yes... but it was also stupid. I'm not here to beg for money. What I am here for, however, is to express what's on my mind at any given moment. And that's what I did. So there you have it, that's how it all works. I've thought things through since then, and I have a solution that I think will work. It's just going to take some time, and it's going to mean changing a few things in my life. -- cutting down on a few luxuries (the few that I already had), and curtailing my wanton ways of spending and not caring about the consequences. Plus, I've been selling things on eBay. (Thanks to those who suggested this... I already had that in my plan. We must have been thinking alike.) I have a lot of crap. A LOT of crap. I thoroughly need to downsize, and fast. I also need to sell my car and get rid of that payment. It's killing me. I don't know why I ever thought that was a good idea, but no more. I have a way of getting the money I need. So I will be ok. But things have just gotta change, and I need to make the commitment to make them happen. It's about time.

I'm in trouble

I'm panicking. My finances have spun out of control and I'm scared. I've tried to do too much and cover myself for too long. I am broke. I need $1600 fast. Know anyone that can help me? I'm serious.

100 Things About Me: Version 2.0

As with anything and everything in the world, things change. And so, too, should your 100 Things About You Me. So... here is Version 2.0. New additions/changes are in bold. 1. I am still single. 1a. This rarely ever changes. 2. I love to sing. 3. My favorite food is Italian. 4a. I make a kickass meatball. 5. I was born in Kenosha, Wisconsin 5a. I now live in Chicago, IL. 6. I am a Packer fan, but not a Brewer Fan. 7. I am a Cubs fan, but not a Bears Fan. 8. I used to have a Cabaret show at Gentry in Chicago. 9. I worked for Six Flags Great America for 12 years before the bastards fired me. 9a. It was the first time I'd ever been fired. 9b. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. 10. I grew up with dogs, but I own two cats. 11. I have one sister, and she is married. 12. I have no nieces or nephews (yet). 13. Most of my friends are in the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus or the Windy City Performing Arts. 14. I am a member of both groups. 15. I am not related to Danny Aiello. 16. My favorite artist is Elton John. 17. The RcktMan in my name is an homage to Elton John's song "Rocket Man" 18. My first online experience was on Prodigy back in 1992. 19. I used to consider myself an Independent voter, but I now consider myself a Democrat. 20. I was raised Catholic, but do not practice it anymore. 21. My uncle is a priest. 22. I have only one first cousin. 23. My mom had my sister because she did not want me to grow up an only child. (She was an only child.) 24. We named our second dog "Cubby" after the Chicago Cubs. 24a. His name was my idea. 25. My cat's names are Pippin and Screech. 25a. Pippin is named after the musical, not the basketball player. 25b. Screech is so named because he's so chatty, not after the "Saved By The Bell" character. 25c. My ex named Screech. 26. I have friends all over the country and in many areas of the world. 27. I have never been to Europe. 28 I have never been to paradise-- or to me, for that matter. 28a. I don't know what the hell that means. 29. I never knew either of my grandfathers. 30. I have relatives in Italy who are enormously wealthy because of their coffee empire, "Aiello Coffee" 30a. I have bought and tasted Aiello Coffee. 30b. I don't know any of these relatives, therefore will probably not inherit a penny when they die. 31. I did the layout for Carol Moseley Braun's resume in 2001. 31a. She paid me $200 for the service. She paid with a personal check. I have a copy of the check. 32. I have never kissed a girl. 33. I've kissed a girl... the only girl in CGMC. It was actually kinda hot. 34. My first kiss and my first time having sex with a man was when I was 23 years old. 35. I am now 34 years old. 36. I have a solo on the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus's first CD, "Cool Yule." 36a. I am also featured in CGMC's second CD, "I Will Be Loved Tonight." 37. My favorite drink is Rum & Coke 38. I have never done drugs of any kind. 39. I have never smoked a cigarette. 40. I have smoked cigars but only puffed on them. 41. I am a top. 42. I love to kiss. 43. I love to cuddle. 44. I am extremely affectionate. 45. I can be a bit of a loner at times. 46. I have been called "introspective" 47. In college I was heavily involved in DECA, a student marketing organization. 47a. I was elected Wisconsin State SE Region Vice President in 1992 and State President in 1993. 47b. I was elected State Alumni President in 1998 (after having moved to Chicago). 48. I served on the board of CGMC for 2 years. 49. I will not serve on any boards again for a long time. 50. My last ex and I were together for a year. 50a. It was my longest relationship. 51. One of my fondest memories is going to the Wisconsin State Fair with my family and going down the huge slide. 52. Another fond memory is going to see my Grandma in Antioch, Illinois. It always seemed so far away. 53. I had my tonsils removed in July of 2003. 54. I was recently diagnosed with high blood pressure. 55. It runs in my family. 56. My latest guilty pleasure is that I DVR episodes of "Little House On The Prairie" on The Hallmark Channel every day. 57. I am surrounded by a network of wonderful, loving and supportive friends. 58. My father is Diabetic and my mother suffers from Emphysema. 59. While growing up, I wanted to be a teacher. 60. I graduated with an Associate Degree in Marketing in 1994. 61. I still want to complete my Bachelor's and Masters degree someday. 62. I live way beyond my means. 63. I have poor credit, but it's improving... slowly. 64. I own a car, but still rent my apartment. 65. I would like to buy my own condo within the next 3 years. 66. I cry at sappy movies and songs. 67. I love comedies. 68. I love gardening 69. I grow my own herbs. 70. I hate housecleaning and laundry. 71. But I love when my home is clean. 72. I have a gym membership that I haven't used in 5 years. 73. My bike has sat with a flat tire for 4 years. 73a. I am going to get it fixed very soon. 74. I thoroughly believe that if I worked out, I'd be "Hot". 75. I am too lazy to make that happen. 76. I listen to music when I fall asleep. 77. "Queer Eye" is about the only TV I watch anymore. 78. I hate seeing movies by myself, so I rarely see movies. 79. I love to cook for myself, and for others. 80. I like going out, but don't go out alone, ever. 81. I STILL cut my own hair. 81a. I think I'm pretty good at it by now. 82. My favorite breakfast food is Eggs Benedict. 83. I love Tombstone Pizzas. 84. I would fail miserably at the Atkins Diet. 85. McDonald's McChicken Sandwiches are my nemesis. 85a. They are only $1 each. 85b. Yes, I am that cheap sometimes. 86. I have very few enemies. 87. I believe there is a direct correlation between one's relationship with his or her family and the type of person he or she is socially. 88. I have a very good relationship with my family. 89. I am not a morning person. 90. I am a definite night owl. 91. I spend a lot of time online but rarely ever "hook up" anymore. 92. I'm ready to "settle down". 93. I like to write poetry to clear my mind. 94. My favorite author is John Irving. 95. I think Dolly Parton is one of the most underrated artists alive today. 96. I think The Beatles were geniuses. 97. I think George W. Bush is the biggest failure of all of the US Presidents, ever. 98. I have no idea who could possibly be our President in 2008. 99. I have voted in every Presidential election since I became eligible. 100. I'm a bit concerned for the future of our country.

Killer Memes From Outer Space!

You asked me questions, I will give you answers! Here we go.... From Scott-o-Rama: 1). Who was your first crush? My first crush was a boy in 5th grade. He had the most striking blue eyes I'd ever seen. From then on, I knew that I was "different"... 2). You have to pick one city in which to spend the rest of your life (you can never leave it). Which one do you choose? The one in which I'm living right now. I love Chicago. I don't foresee me ever leaving it. 3). You have been asked to make a new ice cream flavor for Ben & Jerry. What do you put in it?Tons of Vanilla (REAL vanilla), and fresh raspberries with chocolate ribbons. Yummy. 4). You have just written your autobiography. What do you title it? "Whose Idea of a Cruel Joke Was THIS?" From Pua: 5). The new man is coming over to your place. It's a little messy and you only have 10 minutes. What do you clean first? The living room. Because the cats sit on the sofa and the big ottoman in there and COVER them with their fur. If they are clean, the whole place looks clean. Next I usually attack the bedroom. I mean, come on. And then the dining room/office because it's the room I spend the most time in when I'm home alone and it gets the messiest. 6). You're offered a choice of dates...movie, OR dinner. Which do you choose and why? Dinner. You can't talk at a movie. I like to get to know my date, and you can't get to know someone while sitting quietly watching a movie. Movies are good for 3rd or 4th dates, but definitely not first dates! 7). Which is easier to forgive; transgressions against you personally, or transgressions against your family? Ooooh tough one... Transgressions against me personally are easier to forgive. I'm one person and I can take a lot of flak. But if you do something against my family, you have a lot of pizans to deal with. :) Also, remember that forgiveness is easy, but forgetting is impossible. 8). How long would you wait for a late date to show before you get up to leave? 45 minutes. After that, it's goodbye Charl... um... Stevie. 9). What's the first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Pay off all my bills. And then I'd do the same for my parents and make sure they would never have to worry about money again. Then I'd do something for myself. From TJ: 10). If you could have a romantic dinner date with anyone in the world (assume that sexual persuasion is not an issue), who would you choose and why? I can't think of anyone in particular. It would have to be someone who I share things in common with, and I can relate to. Someone who enjoys trying new things and exploring new ideas. Someone who enjoys music and great food with good conversation. OK that's really general, but that's what I would want, and that would be the perfect romantic dinner. 11).Who is your sex fantasy? Do you mean today or every day? It changes a lot. ;) 12). Do you sing in the shower? ABSOLUTELY... I sing everywhere. 13). Your house is burning down. You can save either the original Mona Lisa painting (which was on display at your house) or your cats. Which do you choose and why? NO hesitation. My cats. I have their carrier cages easily accessible in case of emergency. I would fight fire or intruder or weather to make sure they were safe. Mona Lisa, Schmona Schmisa. My cats are my babies. From Alan: 14). If you could be a fictional character in a book or a movie, who would you be and why? Laura Ingalls Wilder growing up when she did. How fascinating and exciting it must have been to move to new lands and start new communities, and see all the new things happening as they happened. (ed. note: I know he asked "fictional character," but Laura Ingalls Wilder as she wrote about herself was, in essence, a fictional representation of herself, hence why she referred to herself as "Laura" and not "I." So there. Nyah.) 15). Cloudy but warm, or sunny but cold? Sunny but cold. Rainy days and mondays always get me down. 16). Oh, you live in Chicago ... do you know my friend Matt? Oh yeah! Of course I do... he was great! From Tuna Girl: 17). When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? A teacher. And in some ways that has come true... I find myself doing a lot of teaching at work. I like that part about my job. 18). What do you like best about blogging? The sense of community that exists through words and pictures. The closeness I feel to people all over the world, even though I have never met most of them face-to-face. The sense of family that I have found with those I have gotten to know. 19). I want to know more about your singing. What do you like best about it? Singing is SO therapeutic for me. Whether I am singing solo or with a chorus, I feel myself in the song that I sing and I try to give that off as I sing. When I sing solo, I pick songs that mean something to me. Either they have to do with a certain period in my life, or they remind me of someone I care about, or they tell a story that I can relate to. Music is very close to my soul. 20). Are you going to buy me drinks in NYC? What will you order for me? You'd better believe I'm going to buy you drinks in NYC. I'll order whatever you like, but I'll make you try something just to be a little evil. I can't wait to see you there! There you have em... exactly 20 questions. Thanks to Scott, TJ, Pua and Karen for asking away. AND JUST AS I POSTED THIS... Four more questions arrived! So here they are. Hey it's my blog, I can do what I want. :) From Keith: 21). What is your favorite holiday? Call it cliche, but Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love decorating, I love trimming the tree, I love baking cookies, I love wrapping presents, I love throwing parties. I just don't like the bills after it's all done. But yeah... Christmas is my favorite by far. 22). What is your favorite comedy movie of all time? GOOD ONE... because I have two. "Nine to Five" and "Tootsie" are probably my all-time favorite comedy movies. I have seen each film so many times that I know them almost by heart, and they NEVER get old. 23). What would you say is your best personality trait? The fact that I don't let anything get me down. Because believe me, I have had plenty of things happen in my life that would get some people down and break them. I believe that there is a silver lining to any situation... even the worst ones. 24). You have just won a new automobile in a free giveaway! Which automobile would you like? One that doesn't have any dents... and has a window that actually opens... and has air conditioning that works... Say, can I have a garage too? That'd be SWEET!